Just like a really, REALLY awful movie where nobody ends up with anybody and nothing is cool. Nobody bursts into song or anything. Who wants to watch that? Not anyone. That is who.
I should probably explain anyway.
So as you all may or may not know, I’ve been having a teensy bit of trouble with my wrist. As I said before, I keep pretty quiet about it. Not complained once. Ahem.
So right now, I am writing this post with pain helping me along, but I have to write it because you all want to know what happened. OK , you don’t. But I like blogging so here you go.
After last night, me and my wrist were not on speaking terms. It kept waking me up every time I moved because it’s hurting. It is at that annoying stage of constant dull pain when not being used and shooting, sharp pains when doing something with it.
So on my way to work today I decided to make a little visit to my chemist. I mean… if the hospital couldn’t do anything apart from recommending I support it , then the chemist probably ain’t going to be an awful lot of help.
BUT …. here is the thing…… It’s been a while since I saw the dishy Darren Criss lookalike and I had a sort of excuse this time right?
*If you have read this blog before, you will know who I am referring to. If you haven’t read this blog before, then go and have a look back at two REALLY exciting posts about a fit guy….. then you will get what this is about. Sort of. And the posts aren’t all that exciting. But still.*
Anyway, when I walked in and saw he wasn’t there , I felt a mixture of relief at not being able to make a twat out of myself and disappointment at not seeing his dishy face. And after calling his face dishy , I really hope that he will never , ever read this.
My mixed emotions didn’t last for even five seconds before he walked out from the back looking dreamy as ever. I was totally going to play it cool (as I always do in front of hot guys…… ) so I just sort of stood there as if I was waiting for the lady behind the counter to serve me. But him being swoonsome , just came out from behind the counter and headed straight for me. He was smiling and it was extremely off putting because it is too much handsome in ordinary life.
“Hi! Are you feeling better?”
I looked behind me even though I knew there was nobody there.
“From that sick bug you had?”
Ah. Right. No getting out of this then. He knows who I am. Just like he knew who I was last time from the chocolate incident. I just still had a vague hope that we could start over minus junk food and vomit.
“Yes. I mean, I had it in March so it would be a pretty rough deal if I was still puking.”
He laughed and it was honestly the geekiest laugh I have heard in quite some time but…. I love geeky laughs so the swoon factor just went up. P.S , what I said wasn’t funny so he kind of also gets extra points for laughing at nothing.
“Yeah. You would definitely have to get checked out if that were the case. Brought any chocolate recently?”
Yes he did ask me that. No , I’m really not joking. Most girls would just give a standard answer but I sort of had Eleanor Page on my mind as she is now off to the USA for an adventure, and I told her that I would miss her more than Willy misses his chocolate factory since he handed it over to that Bucket kid.
“Yes. I brought a whole factory actually.”
“I didn’t really. It was just a joke. Although it wasn’t funny. But anyway.”
He laughed again. Bless. It would have been good if he laughed at the factory thing though so his points just went down, but to be fair to him…. nobody would have made the connection of me missing a friend who has just gone to America and comparing her to chocolate factories. I’m not even that sure why it came out of my mouth so……. the point of this whole word for word thing being that I really shouldn’t be allowed to talk to people. I haven’t even done a blog post about what happened last week when I hopped on a train specifically to see a certain West End actors legs, nor will I. The whole thing was painfully awful. Apart from the actual legs of course.
“Are you here to pick a prescription up? For your Dad right?”
Yes ladies, he’s real and has an award worthy memory. I bet he is the type of guy who would even remember your birthday and isn’t that what everyone is looking for in a man?!
“No. Not today.”
Then we both just stand there awkwardly for a moment before I remembered that it was actually my move because he isn’t a mind reader.
“But I did come in for a valid reason other than stalking you.”
He looks quite startled at this.
“Not that I am stalking you. That came out wrong. What I should have said first is that I’m not stalking you.”
He’s still looking at me with concern.
“You would only really have to be scared if you were somebody from Glee or possibly someone in the West End, then you could worry.”
He isn’t saying anything.
“Not that I stalk those either.”
Kill. Me. Now.
“I’ve hurt my wrist.”
Finally, he snaps into action. I don’t think he even blinked during the whole stalking speech. He was too terrified no doubt.
“Oh right. How?”
I shrugged. Shrugging is never good because it makes me look like a moron. Because I don’t do it nicely…. it just comes across as like a really weird jerky movement.
“At work I think. It’s been bad for a while now. It has been looked at and they said it was a possible chipped bone and torn muscles or something. They couldn’t really do much but it’s still hurting the crap out of me (<<classy Laura.) so I was wondering if there was anything to be done for the pain.”
He honestly looked at me, in all seriousness and goes……
“Have you tried a wrist support?”
Right. Now why didn’t I think of that?!
“Yeah. But the adult supports are all massive on me so I had to resort to a kids support at first, and then when that didn’t work I just had to keep it strapped up. It is better when it’s strapped up it’s just that it is still really hurting. I have to rip up loads of boxes tomorrow.”
See everyone, this is why he’s my perfect man. He’s witty.
“For your factory?”
Boom. I translated this as I think we are going to live happily ever after.
“Ha! Good one. Yeah. And for work.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“You rip boxes for a living?”
As impressive as that job sounds, I had to put him right. I’m not sure why, it’s not as if i’m a rocket scientist or anything.
“I work in retail.”
I thought that explained everything but he just looked even more confused.
“Every Tuesday and Friday I have to do delivery. Which means a lot of boxes and packing away and lifting….. which is why I came in to see if there was anything that could be done.” For some mad reason, I didn’t stop there. “I work other days as well. When I don’t do delivery.”
What the fuck? Stop talking. Just stop.
“Erm OK …….” He walks off. I kick myself apart from I actually did. Because I was embarrassed. So I kicked my foot with my other foot and then I wonder why people think I’m crazy. He didn’t see so that’s the main thing.
A few minutes later he returns with a bandage and some deep heat. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I had already had this stuff because he has that face so I took them.
“Thanks for your help. I have to get work now otherwise I’ll be late.”
He grinned at me and it was a proper heart melting grin. Don’t you just love smiley people?
“It’s Monday. You were right. You do work other days.”
I know for a fact my cheeks went red because….. well, I’m an idiot. As I walked out of the chemist, he called out….. “See you soon.”
Which could mean a number of things.
Number 1: That he thinks I am always ill/accident prone so the chances of me coming in again are likely.
Number 2: That I will be in to pick up my Dads prescription although I have handed that duty down to my sister since sick bug gate.
or Number 3: He thinks we are obviously Romeo and Juliet without the dying so …… I’m going to go with that one.
………………………………… Don’t spoil my fun with your realism OK? All of our meetings have gone so well that it would be mad for us not to hook up.
Now I’m off to eat chocolate. From the shop. Not my pretend factory.