Just Like A Movie


Just like a really, REALLY awful movie where nobody ends up with anybody and nothing is cool. Nobody bursts into song or anything. Who wants to watch that? Not anyone. That is who. 
I should probably explain anyway. 
So as you all may or may not know, I’ve been having a teensy bit of trouble with my wrist. As I said before, I keep pretty quiet about it. Not complained once. Ahem. 
So right now, I am writing this post with pain helping me along, but I have to write it because you all want to know what happened. OK , you don’t. But I like blogging so here you go. 
After last night, me and my wrist were not on speaking terms. It kept waking me up every time I moved because it’s hurting. It is at that annoying stage of constant dull pain when not being used and shooting, sharp pains when doing something with it. 
So on my way to work today I decided to make a little visit to my chemist. I mean… if the hospital couldn’t do anything apart from recommending I support it , then the chemist probably ain’t going to be an awful lot of help. 
BUT …. here is the thing…… It’s been a while since I saw the dishy Darren Criss lookalike and I had a sort of excuse this time right? 
*If you have read this blog before, you will know who I am referring to. If you haven’t read this blog before, then go and have a look back at two REALLY exciting posts about a fit guy….. then you will get what this is about. Sort of. And the posts aren’t all that exciting. But still.*

Anyway, when I walked in and saw he wasn’t there , I felt a mixture of relief at not being able to make a twat out of myself and disappointment at not seeing his dishy face. And after calling his face dishy , I really hope that he will never , ever read this. 

My mixed emotions didn’t last for even five seconds before he walked out from the back looking dreamy as ever. I was totally going to play it cool (as I always do in front of hot guys…… ) so I just sort of stood there as if I was waiting for the lady behind the counter to serve me. But him being swoonsome , just came out from behind the counter and headed straight for me. He was smiling and it was extremely off putting because it is too much handsome in ordinary life. 

“Hi! Are you feeling better?”

I looked behind me even though I knew there was nobody there. 

“Me? Erm…….”

“From that sick bug you had?”

Ah. Right. No getting out of this then. He knows who I am. Just like he knew who I was last time from the chocolate incident. I just still had a vague hope that we could start over minus junk food and vomit. 

“Yes. I mean, I had it in March so it would be a pretty rough deal if I was still puking.”

He laughed and it was honestly the geekiest laugh I have heard in quite some time but…. I love geeky laughs so the swoon factor just went up. P.S , what I said wasn’t funny so he kind of also gets extra points for laughing at nothing. 

“Yeah. You would definitely have to get checked out if that were the case. Brought any chocolate recently?”

Yes he did ask me that. No , I’m really not joking. Most girls would just give a standard answer but I sort of had Eleanor Page on my mind as she is now off to the USA for an adventure, and I told her that I would miss her more than Willy misses his chocolate factory since he handed it over to that Bucket kid. 

“Yes. I brought a whole factory actually.”


“I didn’t really. It was just a joke. Although it wasn’t funny. But anyway.”

He laughed again. Bless. It would have been good if he laughed at the factory thing though so his points just went down, but to be fair to him…. nobody would have made the connection of me missing a friend who has just gone to America and comparing her to chocolate factories. I’m not even that sure why it came out of my mouth so……. the point of this whole word for word thing being that I really shouldn’t be allowed to talk to people. I haven’t even done a blog post about what happened last week when I hopped on a train specifically to see a certain West End actors legs, nor will I. The whole thing was painfully awful. Apart from the actual legs of course. 

“Are you here to pick a prescription up? For your Dad right?”

Yes ladies, he’s real and has an award worthy memory. I bet he is the type of guy who would even remember your birthday and isn’t that what everyone is looking for in a man?!

“No. Not today.”


Then we both just stand there awkwardly for a moment before I remembered that it was actually my move because he isn’t a mind reader. 

“But I did come in for a valid reason other than stalking you.”

He looks quite startled at this. 

“Not that I am stalking you. That came out wrong. What I should have said first is that I’m not stalking you.”

He’s still looking at me with concern. 

“You would only really have to be scared if you were somebody from Glee or possibly someone in the West End, then you could worry.”

He isn’t saying anything. 

“Not that I stalk those either.”

Kill. Me. Now. 

“I’ve hurt my wrist.”

Finally, he snaps into action. I don’t think he even blinked during the whole stalking speech. He was too terrified no doubt. 

“Oh right. How?”

I shrugged. Shrugging is never good because it makes me look like a moron. Because I don’t do it nicely…. it just comes across as like a really weird jerky movement. 

“At work I think. It’s been bad for a while now. It has been looked at and they said it was a possible chipped bone and torn muscles or something. They couldn’t really do much but it’s still hurting the crap out of me (<<classy Laura.) so I was wondering if there was anything to be done for the pain.”

He honestly looked at me, in all seriousness and goes…… 

“Have you tried a wrist support?”

Right. Now why didn’t I think of that?!

“Yeah. But the adult supports are all massive on me so I had to resort to a kids support at first, and then when that didn’t work I just had to keep it strapped up. It is better when it’s strapped up it’s just that it is still really hurting. I have to rip up loads of boxes tomorrow.”

See everyone, this is why he’s my perfect man. He’s witty. 

“For your factory?”

Boom. I translated this as I think we are going to live happily ever after. 

“Ha! Good one. Yeah. And for work.”

He raises an eyebrow. 

“You rip boxes for a living?”

As impressive as that job sounds, I had to put him right. I’m not sure why, it’s not as if i’m a rocket scientist or anything. 

“I work in retail.”

I thought that explained everything but he just looked even more confused. 

“Every Tuesday and Friday I have to do delivery. Which means a lot of boxes and packing away and lifting….. which is why I came in to see if there was anything that could be done.” For some mad reason, I didn’t stop there. “I work other days as well. When I don’t do delivery.”

What the fuck? Stop talking. Just stop. 

“Erm OK …….” He walks off. I kick myself apart from I actually did. Because I was embarrassed. So I kicked my foot with my other foot and then I wonder why people think I’m crazy. He didn’t see so that’s the main thing. 

A few minutes later he returns with a bandage and some deep heat. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I had already had this stuff because he has that face so I took them. 

“Thanks for your help. I have to get work now otherwise I’ll be late.”

He grinned at me and it was a proper heart melting grin. Don’t you just love smiley people? 

“It’s Monday. You were right. You do work other days.”

I know for a fact my cheeks went red because….. well, I’m an idiot. As I walked out of the chemist, he called out….. “See you soon.”

Which could mean a number of things. 

Number 1: That he thinks I am always ill/accident prone so the chances of me coming in again are likely.
Number 2: That I will be in to pick up my Dads prescription although I have handed that duty down to my sister since sick bug gate. 
or Number 3: He thinks we are obviously Romeo and Juliet without the dying so …… I’m going to go with that one. 

………………………………… Don’t spoil my fun with your realism OK? All of our meetings have gone so well that it would be mad for us not to hook up. 

Now I’m off to eat chocolate. From the shop. Not my pretend factory. 

Watching The People Go By


This could either be the title of a really corny 1950’s film that I would LOVE …. or it could be another blog post that doesn’t make sense. Let’s probably go for the blog post option. As this is a blog post. And not a film. Because I have no theme music for this. I suppose you can add theme music to the page. Well, I know you can. Because I did on my old blogs. OK , get voting on a theme song readers! Wow, I have went way off point here…….

Working in retail, I get to people watch all the time. Believe it or not, I actually take things in underneath all the outward smut I show to the world. While you may think I am actually just lusting over a particularly hot guy who has just walked past, I am also watching him as a person…. not just a face. The same if it was an elderly lady, a teenager…. or an alien. I like to watch people. It gives you a good grasp on the way the world works. 

There are some gorgeous people in this world. Inside and outside. There are also some awful people. I’m not talking about the murderers/rapists and so on, although of course…. they are the worst. No, they really are. But this post is about …. well, i’m not sure. But not them anyway. 

Everybody has a bad day right? Some people have a bad week/month/ or even year. And it sucks. Let’s make no bones about it, when things don’t go your way, the world looks like a darker place. But we all just need to take a step back and smell the fucking roses once in a while. 

The situation I’m about to explain isn’t a great one, but it is my situation. So I will tell it. 

Last night, I got around three hours sleep. It always seems to happen when I have a delivery day the next morning. My mind just doesn’t shut off. I had been working so much in the last week or two that I was missing the kids, and on my only day off I went to London to see Jersey Boys because Jon Boydons hips are an instant pick me up and the kids were out on Saturday anyway so I didn’t feel bad about missing out on time with them. So last night I was feeling guilty in general I guess, and it’s not just working Mums, it is every Mum that gets struck with this guilt feeling every so often. Being a single Mum, I am constantly questioning whether I am doing things right. So yes, these thoughts kept me up, 

I awoke groggily to the sound of my piercing alarm at four. Four in the morning shouldn’t even be a time but it is my reality every Tuesday and Friday. I fell over while having a lightning quick shower and then I walked into the door, banging my knee hard. I went to drink my coffee , realising too late that I hadn’t actually boiled the kettle because I was so tired. I poked my mascara wand in my eye which is a bitching pain, then I whacked my head with my hairbrush as I tried to comb out the tangles of my frizz. 

As I left the house, it was raining. Which is fine. I like the rain. But it was cold, dark, raining and 5am. As I got halfway to work, I realised I had forgotten my purse which sucked as I needed to get some shopping on the way back. I stepped on two snails by accident and walked past a dead bird with its guts spilling out of its body. 

I got splashed by a lorry on the thirty minute walk and by the time I arrived at work at 5.50am, I had already had enough. At 6:10am we had a text from the manager who was delayed because of over running engineering works which was crap for him because he had delivery and promo in the same day, and it was shit for me and my workmate who were stuck outside in the rain for nearly an hour. As I said, I like the rain. But I don’t like waiting in it that early in the morning for a never ending amount of time. 

When we finally got in to the shop, we had to work our asses off to make up lost time. My hands and arms are cut to shreds from all the box tearing and shelving we had to do. The cages that are ten times bigger than me are hard to even open , let alone move…. and I was once told my a workmate who had worn a steppy thing during a delivery shift at work that we cover between 6-10 miles a shift. Which may seem easy enough but dudes, I walk a mile there and back and it’s 6am. 

The shop opens at half 8 and we were still madly putting things away. I was trying to put stuff away around the tills/front of shop and serve people at the same time. And I had just learnt I would be staying an extra two hours to help with the time we lost from this morning. 

I know you are all finding this fascinating, but there will be a point. 

Retail is very 50/50 . Some people are lovely. Some people are not. 

I had already lost my enthusiasm for the day by the time the shop had opened. But of course, I served people with a happy smile and a ‘have a nice day’ attitude. So why….. please tell me why…. some people…. choose to act like you just killed a bunch of puppies for merely having the cheek to serve them? 

One woman was so rude that she honestly had me a nervous wreck. If I can be nice to her despite wanting to go back to bed for a few days, surely she can just at least be ….. just…. mildly polite? She doesn’t have to be overly friendly. But a little less cold would have been great.

But all that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that she merely grunted at me as I tried to pack her items away neatly in a bag that she had waved in my face. It didn’t matter that rather than handing me the money, she slung it on the counter, making some fall off the side and then moaning because I was time wasting in going to pick it up for her. It didn’t matter that as I beamed at her and told her to have brilliant day she looked at me like I was piece of shit. You know why? 

Because she might have been having a bad day herself right? She could have been having a day ten times worse than mine. She could have just lost a family member, she could have had her life savings stolen, she could have been having a mid-life crisis. She also might have been someone who volunteers her time at a charity. She may be someone who works twelve hour days just to make ends meet. She may have just saved a drowning cat. 

So many things to consider when facing another person. 

I meant it when I told her to have a nice day. Honestly. Because if her mood was any indication to go by, she wasn’t having a great one so far…. so she needed the parting comment. 

I just wish that she had maybe considered that I was having a bad day too. Because I think that at the moment, it is what is wrong with the world as a whole. We are so wrapped up in our own heads that we don’t give thought to other people anymore, and that is sad. I fully admit that I am not the most…. how shall we put it…… contactable friend??! I barely ever reply to a text message because I prefer to phone. Friends will send me messages three pages long on facebook and I will reply with a line when I remember. I’m shit at remembering birthdays even if I write them down and names…. I am so bad at remembering peoples names I have only met once. But I do care. I think about things. I wonder if you are all having a good day and so on and stuff and bits and bobs. 

Outwardly, I portray the ultimate smutty fangirl who has a brain that is wired a teeny bit differently from everybody elses. It’s understandable people would think that as today I told a fellow shop worker that the world needed more varieties of banana bread and I stand by that. I’m not sure she had the same views. Anyway…. I give that image to the world. But deep down, i’m PEOPLE WATCHING. I’m watching you all. Wow. Now I sound super scary. Watching you in a nice – non – creepy way obviously. Basically, what I am trying to say is…. I know you all have feelings because I see them. And I have feelings too. 

A few years back…. I had the worst of the worst days. My Dad was critically ill in hospital hundreds of miles away and I couldn’t visit him. We didn’t know if he would make it through the night. My sisters were both quite young at the time and they needed dinner, but we didn’t really have anything in the house so I had to go shopping. The thought of going shopping was horrific. I felt like every aisle I walked down was a never ending hell. I wanted to burst into tears with every step. But I didn’t. And when I got to the checkout, this sweet worker, probably a similar age to what I was then…… she smiled and told me I had a friendly face. For no reason at all. I had a sweet, friendly face according to her…. and then, at the end of the transaction, she didn’t just wish me a happy day. Oh no. She actually said…. 

“Have a wonderful life sweetie, you deserve it.”

How nice is that? That one comment on the darkest of all dark days has stayed with me ever since. Little did she realise just how much I needed her words. Or…. not even words. Just her smile was enough to lift my spirits that tiny teeny bit. 

What I have been trying to say this whole post is that your words, your actions, your gestures and your attitude in general will impact somebodies day. You may not think it will, but it does. Just a smile from somebody could make a person feel a whole load better about things. 

My work story really isn’t a good example. On a bigger scale, we have our NHS workers who work tirelessly to be treated with venom by some patients. We have police officers who get abuse day in, day out for just doing their jobs. We have workers who do a twelve hour shift picking up litter from the streets, all while singing a merry tune and greeting people with a cheery hello. We have midwives who work through the night , office workers meeting a deadline and dock yard workers out in all weather. I can’t list every job, but no matter who you are and what you are doing…. just remember that a smile and maybe if you have the time…. a kind word wouldn’t go amiss. 

The world can be a beautiful place even on the darkest and most miserable days, you just have to look for the sunshine. And sometimes….. you, yourself holds that sunshine. 

So with that, I’m just going to leave you some depressing pictures of what a 5am walk to work looks like in August. AUGUST!!  What the frick is it going to be like in December? BUT…. I still find remarkable beauty in these pictures. And no doubt I will find it in the cold months as well. Because I saw this new coat I wanted and it’s fucking awesome, so that will be a silver lining…… 


Jersey Boys – 15/08/2014 – Oh! What A Night


Some of you will know by now that I have become a bit of a Jersey Girl. Apparently, this is an actual thing and the only cure is to watch the show. Multiple times. It’s hard, but if it is the only thing that will get me through it then needs must. 

Of course, there is no denying the fact that I started my Jersey journey because of a former cast member of Rock Of Ages who has the ability to look good in a leotard AND a red suit. So I never thought I would see the day where I actually booked to see a Jersey Boys show that wasn’t a Sandy Valli one. 

But a few months ago, when the Jersey Boy love started in my fangirl brain….. I saw a TV appearance that involved a certain  Michael Watson … AKA – Main Frankie Valli. 

I had prepared myself to not really think anything of Michael…. I mean, I knew he was going to be good. He is the main Frankie after all, the star of the show. But all the same, the only Frankie for me was Scottish with legs to die for. Anyway, I watched the TV performance, and from the moment Michael said something about not getting any cheers from the crowd but the others did, I instantly liked him. Then he started singing and I knew that one day, I had to book up and see him as Frankie. Skip to a month or two back where some of you may remember a previous blog post about bumping into Michael outside the theatre and basically being a complete and utter fangirl and telling him that we would be along soon . 

Which brings us to yesterday……

After waking up at 4am for work, and freaking out for a few hours because I thought I had a serious medical condition due to not being able to walk or breathe properly during work (<< That was a total hint for sympathy by the way) , I honestly wasn’t feeling that chirpy by the time I finished my shift and collapsed on the sofa. The thought of showering and dragging my arse out of the house to London was a pretty daunting task when I felt like shit. But it’s not as if I was having to do something really taxing. I mean, I got to see four guys who are all quite easy on the eye sing and dance on stage for a few hours, if anything, it was going to make me feel better. 

No matter how many times I go to London, I still get that rush of excitement every time the train rattles past all the famous buildings. It’s magical. So I was happy by the time I got off the train and met Jus who had told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to try Cinnabon otherwise my life was not worth living. 

Jus, Noor and Rachel were all right. Cinnabon is the business. I made a huge mistake and got a diddy one while Jus had a biggun. I have already learnt this hard lesson and next time, I will get one the size of my head. After a drink at Cafe Nero where sadly, the fit guy wasn’t at work, we made our way to the theatre. 

After the standard selfie in the bar where you can really tell exactly just how tired and rough I was feeling, we made our way to our third row seats. 


We both spoke as we were waiting for the show to start about how weird it was purposely booking up a non Sandy show. And it was weird. Jus is main Smoffat. I’m Smutty on the side Smoffat. We were cheating on our man. It doesn’t matter that Sandy had he known would have been delighted to offload his crazy fangirls onto someone else for a while, all that mattered is we felt a teeny bit guilty. 

And that is where the Sandy thing ends. Right there. I wouldn’t dream of pitting them against each other. Both of these men have so much talent between them that it’s hard to handle. So from here on, this is a post about Michael’s  Frankie Valli.

Actually, it’s not a post about Michael’s Valli. It’s not a review. It’s not even a legitimate piece of writing. It’s a load of waffle but what would a blog of mine be without words that make no sense to anyone?

 As soon as the amazingly energetic Thomas Goodridge bounded on to the stage with his French version of Oh! What A Night, I was sold. It doesn’t take a lot for me to get excited, and the troubles of work and everything else melted away. 

Thomas is a never ending bundle of fun and every time he gets on that stage he makes people laugh. The one time he wasn’t there out of all my shows, I missed his enthusiasm. That is the thing about this show, all the extras absolutely make it what it is. Not just the four guys, who are amazing, but everyone. Matt Thorpe who plays Joe Pesci, he was off last time we went and I missed him. This time he was back and he was absolutely great. Along with Stuart King (If you ever get a chance to see his Bob, do it, he’s brilliant…) and Matt Hunt. These guys all make the show what it is and put in an enormous amount of work. 

No, I will not go into how crazily talented Jon Boydon is AGAIN. If you want to see that, then you have a choice of about five previous blog posts to see just how gushing I have been about him in the past. It’s embarrassing. I am sure I don’t need to point out that from the moment he walked on, he was on fire. He got cheers as soon as he walked on to the stage. That crowd last night was insane. I could tell the guys were loving the audiences reaction, not just because i’m physic, but because most of them tweeted about what a great crowd it was ;-)

It really makes the show more enjoyable if everyone around you is loving it as much as you are and that was without a doubt the best crowd reaction I have ever seen. 

As soon as Michael ran on as young teenage Frankie, that was it. I was in a trance. Honestly. Talent? Yes. Just a bit. A lot. A huge amount. Oh my chocolate buttons he is talented. The dude was ill just the night before and had to take a show off, I have no idea if he was still under the weather a bit for this performance….. but if he was, then nobody would have known. 

The noises I made at certain points were incredibly embarrassing. 

Michael Valli – “I’m in the mood for Love….”
Me – “Uhhhhhhh”

Michael Valli – “I wanna Sunday Kind of Love”~
Me – “Swooooooon”

Michael Valli – “Don’t Go Baby….”
Me – “Ahhhhh. I won’t. I’ll stay right here. Forever. Until it’s time to catch my train anyway.”

I am pretty sure Jus nudged me a few times because at one point, I think I ‘Aaahhhed’ quite loudly at a particular note Michael hit. Oooops. 

The guy – he can sing. But not just sing. His voice is like a silky smooth thing that caresses your ears and makes you feel like you are riding on a fluffy cloud of white chocolate whip. I know, I have a way with words.  In particular, I don’t think I have ever melted at My Eyes Adored You like I did last night. It helps that it is one of my favourite songs of the show. But on that song, it was like Michael wasn’t even trying. Let’s just say, the TV and youtube videos I have seen Michael on, as good as they were, do not justify just how good he is in person. 

He also has certain facial expressions while playing Frankie that were just spot on. He completely aced it, and as a part time Smoffat, that is some high praise right there. I always think the Go Ape song is a laughing out loud moment, but paired with Michaels hilariously funny face during this…. it was hysterical. 

Edd Post as Bob Gaudio ad Matt Nalton as Nick Massi…… once again – perfect. Never seen these boys have an off moment. Apart from the times Edd was just literally off. Completely. Because he wasn’t there. That was my attempt at funny. You’re welcome. 

The interval came around way too quickly, and there were discussions had about Michael Valli Watson…. all veering towards the holy fuck-cakes , he’s incredible. 

If the first act was magical, the then I’m not quite sure what that makes the second act. The crowd were loving it and the guys on stage certainly were as well. It must be an amazing experience for them to see people cheering so loudly. 

As a completely random side note – Edd Post has a way of pronouncing things that is just brilliant. The words Cretin and Tour in particular. 

Matt Nalton banged his head on the table extra hard this time round. So hard that even Jus next to me who doesn’t over-react like I do was like …. “Woah. That had to hurt.” 

The songs were all rushing by way too quickly, each one was brilliant. It turns out that Beggin’ is pretty damn sexy whoever is doing the dance….. 

It has to be said though, that if you can take your eyes off Frankie long enough during this song, Tommy De Vito and Nick Massi are throwing some pretty hot guitar moves around in the background. 

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You was enough to turn me into a puddle of gooey fangirling mess. Michael worked the crowd. He was incredible. And yes, I am repeating the words incredible, amazing and talented rather a lot during this post, but when you are writing about the Jersey Boys….. it’s a standard theme. 

Probably one of the funniest moments during the whole show was Working My Way Back To You. Having seen the show once or twice (ahem … or uh…. you know sevenish…..) times , we are well aware that Frankie will usually give somebody on the front row a little serenade. Front row being the key words. I guess if the front row was full of men, the Frankie would then search for the nearest available girl…. but when I have been there, it has always been first row. 

But this time, much to my delight and amusement…. Michael walks to the side of the stage, and points three rows back at Jus. Good old Jus. Good old mortified wanted to die on the spot Jus. We knew it was her as there was nobody directly in front , so that was a give away. And there were a few ladies in the front row, so the fact he serenaded Jus made it all the more brilliant. And it wasn’t just a quick sing either. It felt like it went on for a few lines. Probably because it did. It was so funny! If you know Jus, you will know what her reaction would have been like. She didn’t know where to look and I am pretty sure she freaked out for the remainder of the show ;-) 

Michael played the bereaved Dad with outstanding emotion. He really did show maturity throughout the whole show. It’s not an easy task to go from a 16 year old boy to somebody who has had a career for decades, three girls, three boys , broken marriages and a family death. But he was spot on throughout it all. 

By the end, everything was just spiffingly delightful . << Sorry. I just wanted to get spiffing in there somehow. Word of the week. I think I got another nudge from Jus because I loudly exclaimed …. “Yes! My Tommy’s back!” I say it in every blog post, but i adore the moment Tommy walks back on with all his cockiness . I need a man like Tommy in my life. He’s adorable. Don’t look at me like that……

“Is this like being in a fucking time machine or what?”

Ah. He’s back. 

Rag doll/ Who Loves You were perfection. You can tell the out of this world shows from the just merely excellent shows. And this was definitely an out of this world one. I don’t think I have ever seen the boys enjoy those last songs so much as last night. 

Needless to say it was a standing ovation. Apart from most of our row actually. But they were like the only row in the whole place that didn’t stand up. I may have stood up too early but I don’t care.

It’s a weird show of appreciation isn’t it? You guys just rocked our socks off so I’m going to show you all just how much I enjoyed it by uh….. standing up, I want to really cover how much fun it was so here, have me in an upright position. 


I really enjoy listening to the crowds talking as we all walk out. I’m nosy like that. It seemed like everyone was as amazed as we were. 

Stage Door. Uh Oh. We all know what usually goes down at stage door in these blogs. It never goes terribly well does it? Usually because I’m a twat. 

Here is the thing, I had it in my mind that I wasn’t actually going to go to stage door. Because, there was no need really There was no Sandy to torment/drool over. . But it was such a good crowd that I figured if we go and fangirl with all the others, it won’t look so weird. Apart from there were no others , which after an audience like that,, was quite something. 

So as the guys all start coming out. Jus is nudging me. 

Jus – “Oh look, there’s Thomas, say hi”
Me – “No.”

Jus – “Oh …. It’s Matt Thorpe!! Say hi to him.”
Me – “Nope.”

Jus – “Look, Jon Boydon looking all sexy in his leathers <<(OK , she might not have said that, but I thought it.) Tell him it was a great show. 
Me- No. 

Jus – “Aw there is Edd. You talking to him?”
Me – ” No.”

Don’t ask. Sometimes, I love a bit of stage door. It’s fun to tell them all that they were amazing. Because they were. But sometimes, I just don’t feel it. Of course, I would have told all the guys that they were great, but I didn’t really want to take up any of their time, so like I said, I’m not even sure why we do stage door half the time. I guess it’s just an automatic thing since Rock Of Ages. 

I’m sure the conversation when Michael walked out would have also went…. 

Jus – “Look, there’s Michael…. tell him how great he was.”
Me- “No.”

But it didn’t go like that. Because Michael is definitely one of a kind. Before either of us could even really figure out what was happening, he had grabbed Jus in a hug, saying something about Smoffats and love. Jus would really have to tell you what he said. I’m not sure. I was just staring at his eyes. Did I ever mention that his eyes are dreamy? Yes? Oh, OK . Anyway. So yeah, Jus gets a hug. And I’m pretty sure he’s still saying something about the Smoffats. And then it’s my turn for a hug. 

Yes, you read that right. A hug. A hug from Michael Watson. As all of you will know, I’m not exactly…. huggable. I just stand there like the cold hearted bitch I am, giving off a serious ‘do not touch me’ vibe. Things were said and i’m not sure what. Maybe I can give Jus a right of reply so she can re-tell the events. She probably remembers more than me. Or not. She looked pretty dazed as well. The Watson effect is real. 

I insulted him. He’s so sweet and I still managed to insult him. The insult went something along the lines of….. 

Me – “So hey, maybe we could get a picture or something?” (I fucking hate asking for pictures, but it’s Michael Watson so I did what I had to do…..) 
Michael -“Yeah, sure. Of course …”(More friendly things because he’s just a great human being. Not to be confused with baked bean or mass murderer.)
Me- “Yeah because you know, we aren’t coming back.”
Michael looks at me. 
Me – “Because we are Sandy fangirls.”
Michael – Puppy dog expression. “Awwww :-(” <It was mock sadness. He knew I was joking.
Me- “Not really, I’m joking…. (Oh my god , stop talking….) No, seriously, you were amazing…..(OK , he gets it……) So, so good. Incredible. (Stop talking right now.)

Photo is taken. 


I have named this picture – Michael Watson and the chubby cheeked hamster with demonic eyes. Yes. I had to darken the picture up because there was a serious case of glowing/vampireish eyes going on right here. But anyway. I got a picture with Michael. So that happened. Do I sound like a fangirl? That’s because I am. 

After the picture was probably the moment where I should have asked if Jus wanted one, except I didn’t and I felt like a bit of a bitch, but in my defense…. last time when we had a photo with Matt Thorpe, I kind of forced her into it….. (See previous blog post…..) , So it did cross my mind that she might not want one. 

There is nothing like standing next to a man like that to make you realise just how horror showish you look. Future note – don’t come out in the daytime. I will scare old people and children. And fit guys. 

At one point, I started on rambling to Sophie (One of the girls in the show…..) about how she is also amazing but how we always gush over the men and the girls deserve credit and blah blah blah. I hope she wasn’t too terrified/confused at my sudden urge to start talking to her, but much like Nick Massi, it just came out of my mouth. 

It ended with Michael asking us to come back. OK , mainly Jus. He was still hugely offended by my insult. ;-) No, he wasn’t. I hope. Anyway……. 

I will 100% be going back to another Michael Valli show. I can’t believe it took me so long to get round to the first one. 

The train ride home was eventful with a couple of drunks fighting and then puking down a business mans suit. So that was a nice way to round off the day. 

You can’t beat a Friday Night in London! 

Jersey Girls – Type A – 26/07/2014


It took me some time to decide if I should write this blog or not. Saturday honestly was just a bit…. weird.  I am still looking back over some of the days events in horror. The explanations will come later in the usual style of this blog, so expect humiliation and all out cringey-ness. 

I had decided long ago to go to London for this day as a friend from Germany was over in London for a few days. Tanja!! I had to come along, because meeting up is always going to be a rare but special thing so I will make sure to always make the effort. And I am glad I did. Plus, Germany won the world cup this year and obviously, Tanja being German will be firm friends with the football squad so I thought it was my ticket in. It turned out that just because you are from the same Country, you won’t automatically know each other. How weird is that?! 

I had booked up to see Jersey Boys as Tanja had another show that afternoon anyway, so I wouldn’t be missing out on time with her. It turned out that two people I slightly know and tolerate  (Looking at you Aussie Jus and Sit On Stephy)….. had booked up for the very same show that day as well. Jersey Girl-itus is fast becoming a thing with no cure.

Anyway…. I am going to try and do an in depth memory thing on the days events but if you are already a reader of this blog, we all know how well this is going to go. 

After making pals with the train station person, the WH Smith person and the train conductor, I arrived in London town at around 10-ish. Those new pals of mine are fab. I mean… we will never speak again, but hey! Thanks for brightening up the journey folks. 

I headed straight for my second home , Leicester Square to wait for my friend who I was meeting. As I sat on the wall that goes around the statue thingy in the sunshine on a beautiful summers day, I was as happy as a dog that had just found a really big dog bone or a couch to hump. Except I wasn’t sexually excited. Never mind….. 

I people watched, screamed at two birds, ran away from four wasps and put my chewing gum in the bin, walking straight into a still sticky bit on the ground which somebody had clearly just spat out so that was lovely. And this was all in the space of ten minutes. 

People say that London is unfriendly and cold. But I don’t find that. I have only ever had one really rude person in London so far, and in a place that big, it’s pretty good going. This lovely Chinese couple on the wall next to me said hi and gave me a smile that would melt the most frozen of hearts, so everything was good, even if I was scraping chewing gum off my shoe with an old Costa card from my purse. I wasn’t bothered. I don’t even know why I had a Costa card. I am Starbucks through and through. 

Anyway, my lovely smiley friend popped into sight, and off we walked into our new ‘place we go just because no reason really’ pub. While there, we got bacon, because what is a trip without bacon? What is even any day without bacon? And we chatted and laughed until we…. well no. We just chatted and laughed. This particular friend and I …. when we get together, we just don’t shut up. There is no room for taking breaths. What even is this air you all speak of? Who needs to breathe when you can talk and hold your hurt stomach from laughing so much? 

We did somehow manage to stop the chatter for just a second to decide that actually, we were in London which meant we had to go and get a drink at the Garrick Arms. Just because. Rock Of Ages memories and all that. It will always be a sentimental place for us. Rather than our usual malibu and cokes, we decided to be really summery and weddingish all at the same time and get Pimms. I don’t even know if I like Pimms. But you just have to drink it in the summer ya know? And me being the worst drinker in the world…. well, I think that first glass already went to my head a bit. Maybe it was the heat, the tiredness from working so much lately and the Pimms at 11 am in the morning combined, but something made me not quite with it…… 

Before we knew it, it was time for our very own mini Rock Of Ages reunion. We had told the girls we would meet them in the square by the statue at 1-sh, so off we went. 

This is where my brutal honestly kicks in. If I don’t like you, I will be making exactly ZERO time for you. We all made friendships and connections with various people during our love for the show mentioned above. Some of us have nothing in common. Some of us connected and have spoken every day since. Some of us live in Germany and some of us live in Tractor Land. My point is, just because we all had/have a love for the same show, there is no rule that we all had to be friends. 

So when I saw Jus and Stephy in the square, talking to a girl with her back to us, my heart sunk a little. I can talk to a sink. Like… a sink that has been demolished into white dust. I can talk to anything. That sink thing was a really weird example. But anyway, just because I CAN talk… does’t mean I want to waste it on people who don’t care for me and I don’t care for them. I hoped that this girl who we couldn’t see wasn’t somebody who I didn’t click with, because there are quite a few fans from this show who just don’t like me. And I don’t want to waste my time trying to be polite. I just wanted to spend the day with people I cared about. And I am actually being nice really, because I wouldn’t want them to spend time with me when inside, they don’t like me. That would be wasteful for all of us. 

In this life, you must always surround yourself with people who care. That is one key to happiness. Never waste a precious moment being two faced to somebody you wouldn’t even normally say hi to…… 

So with that being said, I made my friend and I walk AROUND the statue…(It’s a big statue guys….) Just to see if we could see who this mysterious person was. We didn’t need to worry in the end. It was somebody who I hadn’t spoken to before who actually seemed very nice so that was that. 

I hugged Jus and Stephy which always amazes me as I am not a ‘huggy’ person. I hate hugs. But with these girls and the amazing friend I was already with…. they make me be ‘huggy’ , which is a compliment to their personalities. 

As we were standing there talking and catching up …. (The woman who Jus and Stephy were talking to looked stunned by my declarations that I had arrived in London to marry The Jersey Boys) , we suddenly saw all these teenage girls just run and scream. Shut the front door. Something was going down. I did what any normal self respecting nearly 28 year old would do in those circumstances. I left my group of friends and ran with all the other girls, acting and totally perfecting the fangirl thing down to a tee. Honestly, I’m not bothered about the celeb world, but it’s always fun to say you have ‘seen’ such and such. So I was running down the square with people I didn’t know who were all beside themselves. Of course when we got to ‘the scene’ , I was too bloody 5ft2 short to even see anything anyway. 

I turned to the girls next to me and asked who everyone was running after. They looked at me in disgust, clearly thinking that I should know if I was part of the crowd that just ran. Fair point. 


Who? What? Nope. Not even a tiny clue.  I have never heard of them at all ever. That was my fan girl moment ruined and off I walked back to join my friends. 

On the way back to my group, I was thinking to myself…. 

“Please don’t let Tanja and Sarah be there yet. I don’t want to have to explain to them that I was late to the meeting because I had just ran after a boy band I had never heard of. These are sophisticated people, the girls I was already with know my crazy well and put up with it…. but others just get a bit bemused.”

Of course Tanja and Sarah were already there. Of course. Joining them was a lovely girl called Simone. (If you ever read this …. it was so awesome to meet you! And I apologise…. for every single word that comes out of my mouth! ) 

I walked back into the group telling them all about how I just ran after a group of probably underage teenage boys because other people were running and I like to fit in so….. They just shrugged it off and we all sat on the damp muddy grass to have a catch up, after a hug with Sarah and Tanja of course. (Hugs again? I am the least huggy/huggable person in the world so you did good girls.) 

We all caught up. We hadn’t seen each other since November. And that is what I think makes the whole thing special. Listen, I have friends from all over. Everyone does. I have the girl I grew up with since I was three five minutes up the road. I have parents from the school. I have work friends. I have ex work friends. And now I have theatre friends. Some people look down on that and I just don’t know why. What does it matter how we met? The ‘look downers’ say that it isn’t a ‘real’ friendship and I guess only time will tell.  It doesn’t matter how any of us met, all that matters is that somehow…. we all decided to put up with one another and have spoken ever since. I think that is magical. This group in particular…. I have the friend I met in Leicester Square that morning. We have been friends for four years now and she is the one of the most amazing people I have ever met. We knew each other before the theatre world and I cherish her! Then we have Jus. Jus is a weird one to me. She just kind of hit me like a lightening strike and left her mark ever since. She’s a crazy Aussie with a drunken heart of gold. And we have met up many times since November. Then there is Stephy who was the first Rock Of Ages fan I ever met. I hadn’t seen her since the close of the show and it was lovely catching up. And Tanja and Sarah are the same. You realise how long ago November actually was when you all meet up again. 

I do need to do a little shout out here and say that the day wasn’t quite perfect. Not quite. It would have been if I could have met with just a few more people . Stagey theatre people who I have come to really care about and that is Eleanor Paps Baps Page and Noor, and Paps Baps Mum Rachel. Paps and Rachel, you are both so down to earth that you may as well be dirt but in a good way. You are completely crazy and I have come to like using Skype just for you. And Noor. A fellow certain Scottish man fan. Not only does she have good taste in men, she is lovely, quirky and all around brilliant. I can’t wait to see you three again! 

This is such a long rambling blog and I’m not even close to half way yet…. ooops. 

I think I might have suggested more Pimms. So four of us went over to the pub while the others insisted they were OK where they were, but then they came to join in the Pimms party and it was all fun. Remember the door way guy? REMEMBER HIM?! What was that about? We saw a Ross Hunter lookalike at the pub, who now in hindsight didn’t actually look remotely like him but….. like I said. I’m a bad drinker. 

Just like that, it was time to all seperate and go to our various shows. But it’s OK because we would all see each other afterwards for some unexpected boob action. More on that later. 

It has probably got to be said that Jus and I know our way around the Piccadilly theatre now. Ooops again. It’s official. Jersey Girls. 

We made ourselves at home in the bar before the show (of course, where else? This blog paints us in such a good light, especially as Jus is already known as ‘Drunk Aussie’) . Then it was time to make our way to the seats. The front row frickin seats. 

There was still ten minutes for a gossip though and as we were all sitting in various places, we decided to group up at the twirly stairs. As we were in the middle of a girly chat, probably about how dreamy Sandy Valli was, none other than Tobey came walking up to us. Tobey was also a Rock Of Ages fan from Germany who we used to bump into a lot. He’s lovely. It was a great surprise to see him! What a small world. It’s great that so many of us still go to support former cast members. 

Anyway… on to the show stuff. This is where I lose the plot and it is where the plot completely disappears for the entire day. 

Let me tell you. Sitting in the front row of Jersey Boys at the Piccadilly is a really bizarre experience. You are so close to the actually very low stage that you can touch it. You may as well be on stage with them. 

I was already a bit dazed when Thomas Goodridge came out to perform his rocking French version of Oh What A Night. I got a wink. Listen, I’m not an idiot. It’s definitely not my first Jersey Boys show and I know that it is ‘in the script’ to do it. But the fact that this time it was me threw me a bit because you know…. I’m shy. What? I so am. 

My cheeks were still burning from that when the one and only Jon Boydon walked out onto the stage. Ah Jon. If you are my friend, you will know that in the last few weeks, I have jumped upon the Jon Boydon fandom bandwagon and I’m not planning on getting off any time soon. I have purchased his album Three Four and pledged for his new one in the Kickstarter campaign he currently has going at Jonboydon.com . Check it out. << Smooth plugging that was.He has actually reached his £15,000 goal, but is looking to reach a higher target for a gig!! Do it!! So exciting.  Not only is he incredibly talented away from the stage, he is amazing on stage. Jon plays Tommy De Vito so well that Tommy is my favourite character and I just want to marry him. Which is weird because A)Tommy De Vito is a real person not just a character and B) Tommy is a serious ass with a hygeine/gambling/womanising/towel problem. But I still love him. And that is definitely down to Jon’s portrayal. 

So when Jon launched into song and also gave me a serenade/wink…. my fangirl mode got serious. Oh dear lord. Again, this is part of the act. My friends have had the serenade/wink from Tommy/Jon also. It happens in every show. But this time it was me and my cheeks turned redder than anything red. That is for sure. It is a staple part of the show, just as when Lonny used to say ‘My dressing room, two minutes’ back in Rock Of Ages. But it still made me go red. I mean… it’s fricking Jon Boydon. I just pledged for his album. What the hell?!

So I spent the first act of the show in a winky daze. Of course it just got dreamier when Sandy Valli Moffat appeared. There is only so much sexy one girl can take. Jeez. Sandy by the way, in case any of you are interested, is going from strength to strength as alternate Frankie. He is at a level which just blows me away each time. I could listen to his vocals all day. Dreamy. 

Edd Post and Matt Nalton as usual… job well done. Great cast all round. 

The interval came and Jus and I ran straight to the bar. (Jus, what?! This is getting a pattern now. Next time we need to mix it up ….) A malibu and coke later and back we went to the seats. Act 2 in Jersey Boys just killed it. I am telling you, if you haven’t seen Sandy perform Can’t Take My Eyes Off You then what is wrong with you?! You have to. So good. Whenever I see him do that and Working My Way Back To You… all I am thinking is that he needs to do his own gig. He would be such a rock star!! Actually, that isn’t all I am thinking but. Too rude for this blog. 

The guys finished the show off and Who Loves You is always one of my favourites! I think every time I have left that theatre I have been singing that song. Despite the fact Oh What A Night was just played in 20 different ways….. I leave singing Who Loves You. 

We automatically headed for Stage Door after the show. And that is when I realised that I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I just felt strange and yes… I will put it down to the drink. I always make a fool of myself at Stage Door and I was content with the fact that I had just seen an amazing show. I didn’t want to ruin it by acting a fool in front of hot stagey guys. So as Tobey, Jus, Ali, Stephy and I stood there, I was about to walk away. And just sort of…. have a little walk down the street while the others spoke. 

But then Sandy appeared beside me looking glorious and I didn’t even know he had come out, but the others did so that just proves I was a bit dazed. Unfortunately for me, it was too late to walk away…. and then I sort of just stood in a dirty puddle in front of Sandy which was a bit mortifying because he said…. “Mind the puddle” …. but I was already standing in it,. So things just went down hill from there and while the others were all lovely normal sane girls and boys, I started talking about him and Cameron Sharp having a ‘Leg Off’ in their leotards…. told him that Cam had better legs than him (Not true. Sandy wins best legs against anyone actually)  and a whole bunch of absolute crap. It was awful . Most people would just say…’Great show Sandy! You are so awesome and blah blah blah.’ . I on the other hand… talk about remortgaging my house to afford Jersey Boys tickets and something about seeing Michael Watson …. ?! What the hell? Don’t ask people. It was bad. The only thing that consoles me is Sandy has Stage Door chats all the time and will never remember a word I say so. There is a silver lining. 

Although special thanks to Jus who interjected with … “Laura talks a load of shit.” Sandy was smiling/nodding in agreement I think but I am going to pretend that he was nodding about something else. 

Some of you might be wondering why on earth I would want to share all of that when it was clearly horrific for me, but it is my blog. Why break tradition now?! I have had a few people actually comment and say they are reading for the stage door encounters alone so …. there we go. You may all laugh at the puddle shame of it all. I guess the thread here is… I just lost my cool in front of a fit guy. Like I have said before on here, if anybody ever needs me to shut the hell up for a bit, hire Sandy. It works. 

It was so much easier back at Rock Of Ages where I could just hide behind tons of people whenever Sandy walked out and speak to everyone else at Stage Door. It’s not as embarrassing making a twat out of myself in front of Simon, Dan etc….. So after this awful JB stage door experience, I think I’m gonna have to go back to my old ways. Cowering behind people when Sandy walks out while appreciating how nice his dimples are while he talks to other sane people, then pouncing on the cast mates. Definitely easier. 

After a mini meltdown in the form of hugging the pole on the street from heat/drink/exhaustion/embarrassment ….. we headed back to see the girls. 

Everyone had had a great time at their shows. To my surprise , the lovely Sigal came floating into the square looking like a summery Princess. It was so great seeing her, she was gorgeous and friendly as always. 

Before we all had to say our goodbyes, we took pictures and just generally had a great time. We were sitting in the damp muddy grass again eating biscuits. 

I haven’t said much about Sarah yet, because I was saving it til now. She is nuts and brilliant. I adore her. We are boob soul mates. And one of us… probably Sarah, came up with the idea of throwing the biscuits down each others cleavage. Not even sure how that happened. I think I started throwing them in Sarah’s mouth and then it just naturally led on to boobs….. seems logical. I had a low cut top on so it was a lot easier for her to reach the target; 

Please note, no biscuits were harmed during the making of this and very few were wasted because ya know… Sarah likes grassy biscuits and kept eating them after the shots failed. It should also be said that they were mini cookies. Next time we will move on to full sized biscuits but that is pretty hardcore so we have to give it time. 

We knew it was coming, but it was time to go home. It was a gorgeous chilled evening sitting in the square and it was hard saying goodbye, especially to Tanja. It’s not as easy for us to meet up, but we will. 

My fave aussie Jus escorted me back to the station because she is pretty much my baby sitter when in London. She tries to keep me out of trouble but clearly always fails. 

All in all, it was a very odd day. I enjoyed it. And I can’t wait to go back. I will probably go in disguise next time. Thomas who winked at the start of the show sent me some lovely tweets that night and told me he recognized me. Aaaa! I will definitely have to go in disguise. How embarrassing is that?! 

Jersey Boys, Friends, Germany, London, Puddles and Pimms….. it was fun. Let’s do it again soon. 


Stay Calm or Panic?


I can’t take credit for this post I am about to write. This post is coming straight off the back off a blog post I just read, a blog to which I am a regular visitor. Enjoying The Small Things. I have mentioned this lady’s blog before on here and it is beautiful, seriously, check it out if you have time. 
Anyway, her daughter ended up in the ER after cutting her head open and the post just touched upon how the Mum reacted in that situation. She said that she always had a plan in mind for the whole ‘A and E scenario’. She would be calm and focused. She would get through it. Only, it didn’t quite happen like that. She lost some of her cool and nobody can blame her. 

I also believed I would always be cool and calm. But that is not the case at all. All rational thought goes out of the window when you see your child hurt. 

When Leona was around 20 months , we had made it without any major injuries. Then one day, during a visit to a relatives house, she was running around as babies often do, full of excitement at being somewhere else, when she fell head first into the stair case. It was awful. I saw the whole thing as I was sitting at the door way with a cup of tea and it felt like it happened in slow motion. 

There she was, this tiny little bald baby who had only learnt to walk a few months ago, and she just fell into the white wood. On the corner of course.

I’m not quite sure who took the longest to figure out what happened. Me as I stared at her in horror with my cup half way to my mouth, or her who before deciding that it did actually hurt, had stood back up and turned around to face me. I think she did it on purpose, just so I could grasp the full pain on her confused little face. 

Did I stay calm? Did I heck! This was my babies first head injury and I was terrified. As soon as she faced me I could already see a mark/lump forming at the front of head so I knew it was a bad one. 

I had a whole room of relatives sat in the room with me, which really should have encouraged me to act like the sane , calm mother I wanted them to see ;-) But no….. 

I threw my half full cup down which actually fell over in my haste to get to Leona. Then I scooped my girl into my arms, with my heart racing so much I thought it was going to burst. 

This was followed by me hugging her tighter than I have ever hugged her before. 

“You will be OK , it will be fine, you’re not hurt , you’re not hurt.”

To which Leona, who had been clearly able to speak in perfect sentences since the day of her birth (only exaggerating slightly….) starts crying like mad. 


Back to me, still hugging her while trying to remember what to do with a head injury. At the time , the only thought that kept circling my head was….’Check if she’s alive, check if she’s alive.’ Judging by the wailing, she was, but you can never be too sure about these things. 

I head towards the freezer. Grab a packet of peas, and hold it against her head which makes it scream even more. During this , I have seven different relatives all telling me different things. 

“Just keep her awake for the next two hours.”

“You should really get her checked out at A and E, that was a nasty fall.”

“If she starts vomiting , you know it’s bad.”

“She will be fine, you are all over exaggerating.”

“The front of the head is the worst place for a head injury.”

“Really Maureen? I always thought it was the back?”

“If it’s a bruise it’s bad, if it’s a visible lump it’s fine.”

And there is me in the middle of all these people, rocking my baby girl backwards and forwards who to be fair, had actually already calmed down and I am shouting…… 

“It’s a lump and a bruise??!! A LUMP AND A BRUISE. Where does this leave me? What should I do. Oh my god, she looks drowsy, is she drowsy?!!”

A relative pipes up. 

“Leona sweetie, what’s your address?”

Me, almost shouting at scared relative. 

“She’s 18 months she doesn’t bloody know our address.”

Anyway, in the end i did what my instincts told me. I phoned NHS direct, explained the injury who just told me she would be fine and to watch her for signs of drowsiness, suddenly feeling unwell and that sort of thing. 

She was completely fine. I let her stay up an extra three hours that night. Just to be safe ;-) And I didn’t get a wink of sleep because you know, my child had a bump to her head. Serious stuff people. 

Of course, since then, there has been numerous other occasions that were one of those “stay calm but actually panic’ moments. It happens with kids. I don’t quite react as bad as I did that first time now, but there is no way that any parent can just act cool a cucumber when their kid has just almost smashed their head in. I think I have a photo of Leona’s injury that time….. You can’t really see the egg sized lump but the bruise and misery is clear for all to see!! 


So that is that, and I just distracted by chocolate. So….. 

Thinking Out Loud


Yes, I have kind of named this post after my new favourite song. (Ed Sheeran, check it out people, it’s beautiful.) But I also actually am thinking out loud.
OK , i’m not. I’m just thinking inside my head. But I don’t want to change the title so…..
I often wonder if I am doing OK . There isn’t a day that goes by where I question if I am doing things right.
It gets hard. I have two beautiful and crazy children and it is a scary thought not knowing if you are getting things right. I am responsible for other people. I have been for eight years. And I am sure there have been days when I haven’t quite hit the mark. We all get them.

But something happened today.

I got my children’s school reports.

And I cried. Yes, you read that right. I cried.

It turns out that I must be doing something right.

I don’t think I can even say how proud I am because there isn’t quite a scale. The proudness is off the charts.

This girl right here? This is Leona…….





She has given me eight years of joy, happiness and love. She amazes me day by day. She has an attitude, but it’s a good one. She stands up for herself in a way that I never could do for myself when I was her age, and I love that about her. I’m not worried about her being picked on because I know she will handle it the right way. She will tell them where to go without stooping down to their nastiness. But at the moment, it’s a moot point. She won’t be picked on. She is too strong for that. 

Her school report didn’t particularly come as a huge surprise. Since the day she started school she has excelled. I’m not JUST being a boastful Mum. It’s a fact. She really is excellent in everything and I don’t know how on earth I got so lucky. 

Every Mum thinks their children are beautiful right? Right. Course they do. But as I studied Leona the other day, it hit me with force just how beautiful she really is. I don’t mean in just a Mum way. I mean in an every day life way. She is energy, she is positive, she is sunshine…. I could go on. She is tiny, I mean… she isn’t going to win any medals for tallest pupil or anything. Everything about her is small. Just dinky. Her five year old brother is almost as tall as her. But man is she forceful. Her size isn’t an issue. She walks through the playground or the park and everyone sees her. It fills my heart with joy when you hear children of all ages, girls and boys, calling her name for attention. All of her teachers have told me how she is liked and respected by everyone, children and adults at the school. And the report today touched upon it again. 

Now she is eight and has lost most of her baby teeth, she is starting to look like who she really is going to be. And let me tell you, that girl she is going to be will wow you. Her nose and cheeks have these freckles that come out in the sun especially and her eyes are greeny/grey/blue. Her hair is fast going brown even though she started off in life as a bright blonde with an afro. After being bald for two years……

Her adult teeth are all coming through and they are so pretty and straight,. I think she is going to have a slight gap in her two front teeth, which is so awesome. One of my best friends has a slight gap and she is one of the prettiest humans on this planet. Model status! I think it is unbelievably cute. Leona has her own style as well. For example, she has come to the conclusion that she likes baggy tops. With the most girly skirts imaginable. Today, when she got home from school, she put on the last top I brought for her which is an age 9. It is massive on her but she insisted she wanted it. Even though she is 8, she still easily fits into age 6 clothes. So this age 9 top really does look massive, but it looks good. She wears it off the shoulder, then teams it up with a denim skirt that has patchwork lace on it and floats around like she is doing the catwalk. In short, my daughter is already turning into a teenage and will no longer let me influence the clothes she wears. 

So yes, she is beautifully stunning on the outside. The most beautiful girl in the world in fact. 

But like her school report showed today, she is the same on the inside. She is kind, loving, smart, funny and talented. Her teachers can’t praise her enough and neither can I. It is so hard to explain what reading a report like that means. She is excelling in English and Maths. She really is a clever little thing. She has manners. That is important to me. So many kids don’t these days and that is such a shame. 

Leona is everything I could have ever wished for and I am so unbelievably proud of her. 

Then we come to Lex. Little Lex man. Known as Alex at school, it is really only me and a very few that call him Lex. It doesn’t confuse him, he just accepts he has a million names! 

Lex has always been harder to figure out. If Leona is feeling something…. happy, sad, tired…. the whole world knows about it. Lex keeps his feelings inside. He always has. I know I said it in a previous blog post but he literally never cried as a baby. He is a tough, quiet little fella and completely his own person. 


Which is why I was so happy and emotional today reading his school report. I will ask him day after day how school was. And I get the same answer. “Good.” When I ask him to elaborate, he doesn’t. When I ask him to explain what he has done that day, he just shrugs and usually answers with ‘School things’ …. So it has been very hard to figure out just how he is doing. Of course he had those few horrible moments this year with the school bullies. Luckily that is all over now. But I wanted to know how he was getting on in general. I wanted more than a one word answer and this report gave me that. 

 I would never under estimate Lex. I knew he was clever. His teacher told me that when they first started school and he was only four years old, she asked the whole class to spell the word BACK as they were learning body parts. Half the kids spelt it BAK , Half of them spelt it BAC . Lex was the only one in the class who spelt it BACK and I was stunned to know that. That is beyond clever. 

Like I said, he’s a hard one to figure out. Leona the little nerd, lives for homework. She really does. She will do extra homework just for fun. She spends her free time reading rather than on her kids tablet and says stuff like…. “Oh, Mum, I just need to practice writing down the runes from memory before I have a snack….” ….

Lex however, is tough. Luckily, his class don’t get any homework other than reading once a week at the moment. And even getting him to do that is hard. He can do it. He can do it beautifully. But he hates it!! It is a real struggle to get him to stop playing with his football or star wars thing …. ya know that long sword thing that lights up? No idea what it’s called…… long enough to actually read to me. As for writing, forget it. If it isn’t required, he will not do it. 

Which is why I was so thrilled to learn that not only is he doing all this at school, he is doing it with ease. He is excelling. In everything. The teachers mark the reports with Emerging (Building up to it) , Expected (At the expected level for age) or Excelled (Beyond age limit) . Seeing all those ticks next to excelling was such a great moment, and I really am not meaning to boast but I am so proud. It takes such a huge worry from my mind about how he is doing. Turns out he is quite the mathematician. Which is shocking because I struggle to add two and two. 

When I asked him about the report today and asked why he didn’t tell me he was doing that well and why he didn’t say all these clever things he could do, he simply shrugged. 

“I just can. It’s not a big deal.”

Ha! So then I bravely approach the ‘at home’ subject. 

“But Lex, if you can do all these wonderful things at school, then you can practice things a bit more at home instead of refusing.”

He shrugged again. 

“School work is for school though Mummy. I get to play at home. I concentrate at school. And I’m not silly, the big kids told me how much homework I will get next year so I am making the most of now.”

Well, can’t argue with his logic. 

He can do things that I had no idea he could, and yes it makes me feel guilty that I didn’t know what my own child was capable of, but like I said, he is not an open book like his sister. 

He is quiet. He is gorgeous. He has piercing blue eyes that melt your soul and a fixed camera smile as shown in his report. It is the exact same smile in every picture and it is hilarious. He seems to have really tanned this summer and looks completely exotic. His dark blonde hair is curly and wild. He will probably hate it when he’s older but I adore it and so will everyone else. 

Just like his sister, he has his own style. Tank tops and shirts. He would live in tank tops if I let him. There were a few moments during the winter when  I refused to let him go out in just a tank top ;-) He is also very sporty and loves baseball caps. I am sure it comes as no surprise to anyone when I say he certainly doesn’t get that from me. He still has all his baby teeth and he has cheeks you want to squidge. 

He is the most beautiful boy in the world. 

The one thing that makes him like Leona is the fact he is also stunning on the inside. His teachers have written how he is sunny and positive. He cares about everyone and everything. This particular line stood out for me.  “Alex very clearly knows what is right and what is wrong.” These lines so often get blurred nowadays. 

Working in retail , I cannot tell you the amount of times I have witnessed a kid, not much older than my two, screaming at their Mum because they won’t buy them something. Just a few weeks , there was this boy in the shop who was trashing everything on the shelves and shouting that his Mum was a fat fucking bitch. He looked no older than ten. How incredibly sad. 

Lex really does know what is right and wrong. Both of my children do. 

I am blown away by the report on Lex today, and so thankful for these two little humans that enrich my life daily. 

Which brings me back to the point of this post. I often wonder if I am doing OK.

Since day 1, I have loved them, I have fed them, I have cleaned them, I have read to them, I have done things that their Dad should have been doing…. football, day trips, providing them with what they need. I work, I hate being away from them but somebody has to make them money. But along with all the things a parent should do, I have also had many moments of self doubt. When one of them gets ill and I sit up worrying all night. I worry if I am spending enough time with them doing the little things like reading and practicing their writing. I worry if Lex is getting enough ‘boy’ things into his day. Leona and I are very girly, and Lex is very boyish indeed. I try with the sports and star wars but a lot of it goes over my head. I basically just worry in case I am not doing enough in general. 

I wonder if I am doing OK. 

And after reading the reports today, I think I can say that I am. I am managing. 

I don’t deserve the praise of course. No. 

Every bit of praise goes to Leona and Lex. If they weren’t the children they are, my job would probably be a lot harder. Those reports are their own doing. 

And right now, I am on cloud 9 which lands just on top of happiness mountain feeling prouder than I thought possible. 

29/06/2014 – The Story of The Backstreet Boys and The Bra…..


*Warning* – As usual, this post contains me making an idiot out of myself. I think every blog post should start with this warning because it is usually the case. Just assume that wherever I go and whoever I am with….. idiot-ness will occur.

I am not going to lie, I was going to this music in the park event for one thing and one thing only. McBusted. It is no secret that I can be a bit of a fangirl. It is also no secret that Busted were my ‘thing’ when I was a teen…. it was widely known. Pretty much everywhere I went, people would know I liked Busted. I liked to shout it from the rooftops. On the day they split up, all the people I knew including my boyfriend at the time, gleefully pinned the newspaper articles about the split in places I would see them. Just to really make the poor fangirl in me weep like a baby.

Anyway, long story short, I never got to see Busted perform live. I have seen Mcfly live three times now and they have been rocking each time… but Busted always held a little piece of my heart. So when Lizzy and I heard about the McBusted thing, we had to get tickets. When we tried to get tickets for their actual tour, we couldn’t as the date we wanted fell on a family birthday and as much as I love Busted…. I wouldn’t have missed the birthday for anything. Not even if Sandy Moffat done a ‘one night only’ Full Monty show. <<It has been said that I throw him in every blog at least once so I am just keeping up with the trend.

So we heard about the music in the park thing that was being held  in our very own hometown and knew we had to go.

We got to the park for 1:30 and headed straight for the golden circle. I half expected Dan Fletcher to be there with his golden showers but he was no where in sight.

When I say we headed straight for the golden circle, we did spend a good fifteen minutes debating on whether we should buy fudge and chocolate for you know…. health purposes….. We didn’t want to be lacking energy later in the day. We actually decided not to , just on the grounds that had we brought just one bag, we would have had to sell our houses. These stalls weren’t exactly cheap.


So anyway, we got lucky and bagged a spot pretty much right at the front of the golden circle. We literally couldn’t have been any closer.

The first act on were three little guys. They were called Three Dudes. Or even 3 Dudes. No idea. They were around 13. I think that is what they said anyway. To give them credit, they played their own instruments and I reckon by the time they reach adult hood, they will be a pretty talented bunch.

Next up were Diversity. I honestly wasn’t bothered about seeing these. I know , I know. It makes me boring and grumpy but like I said before, I was there to see one thing. McBusted. So all these other acts seemed like they were going to be a really torturous wait! But actually, Diversity were really very good. It is quite impressive watching them on stage. After ten minutes, all of their dance moves sort of started to look the same. But they were great despite that. The little guy with the afro really is fierce and the star of the group. He flips like nobodies business.


Next up was Scouting For Girls. I wasn’t bothered about these either. I liked that one song they did, but other than that, I have never really taken any notice of them. Yet again, I was proved wrong. These guys were actually brilliant. They played really well and the main dude had a bit of a personality going on so that is always fun!! He really was funny and kept the crowd entertained, and he had us singing along to songs that we didn’t even know the words to. As well as their own songs, they also done Live and Let Die and it was the shit. It was so good. I was so impressed with these guys that I am downloading some of their music as I type this up, They rocked. And I never noticed that the main dude is actually quite a cutie, so that helped. ;-)





Next up were 5ive. I used to love 5ive! I actually wasn’t even that excited about seeing these yesterday though because I saw them last year at Newmarket and they were amazing. So I was looking forward to seeing them again, but because I had already seen them exactly a year ago on June 29th…… I wasn’t overly bothered.

It was Abz birthday and you could tell he was pissed out of his head as soon as he came on the stage!! He was so drunk. He was a funny drunk though. He was making the whole crowd laugh and to be quite honest with you Ritchie , Scott and Sean all seemed in a foul mood. With Abz I think. Who knows. The other guys kept getting pissy and blaming a sound man for something even though none of the other bands had any sound issues or technical difficulties. Abz was the only guy who seemed to want to go with the flow. Like when they started playing the wrong song, Abz just carried on singing it which to be fair, all the guys could have done as they would play that one anyway so it didn’t really matter what order it went in!! Last year, 5ive were the stars of the night, this year…. they were a little bit ‘precious’ apart from Abz who seemed to be having a grand old time up there swaying his drunken ass off.









As you can probably tell from the pictures above…. Abz was definitely a teeny bit drunk. I also have quite solid video evidence of this!! So basically, Abz was brilliant, drunk or not…. and the other guys were a bit uptight. But they put on a good show.

Next up……

The Backstreet Boys.

I knew that most people were really excited about these. But I grew up as a Boyzone fan and despite liking the odd BSB song, I was never really a fan. I am now. These guys absolutely rocked!! They danced, they played instruments really well, they had a lot of banter with the crowd and they sang really good!! They are actually amazing live! They surprised me because I wasn’t fussed about them, then they came on and I was like…. woah! Apparently, Nick Carter was in a bad way just two days ago with severe bronchitis. . You would never have been able to tell. He sang the best of all. They were spot on.









The other guys were great of course .



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But the star of the Backstreet Boys yesterday was this man. Brian.


He was brilliant. As you can see, he was unbelievably close to us. He waved at us and sang ….. Although it does need to be pointed out that Lizzy got serenaded by not 1, not 2 , but 3 Backstreet Boys!! THREE!!! Nice work Fizface.

I got serenaded by Nick Carter so even though it was only 1 out of 5 , I will take that …. because he has fit arms.

Anyway, back to Brian. So… he was hilarious. He posed for selfies in front of my phone. In fact, he posed for three….. Here they all are.




But I know anyone reading this is waiting to hear ‘THE’ story. Yes folks, Brian from The Backstreet Boys saw me make a spectacle of myself.

You see, just after he so very nicely posed for these selfies, I had to put my phone away as my battery was running out and McBusted weren’t even on yet….. so I did what anyone would do, and kept my phone in my bra.

Don’t look at me like that! I had to. I didn’t have any pockets and had my red bag on me, and because we were all squashed in, I couldn’t actually move to even get anything out of my bag. And also…. It would have taken too long to grab pictures of all these people by the time it was out of my bag and unlocked. So I had no choice but to conveniently shove my phone down my bra.

And as Brian was standing right in front of me, that is exactly what I did. It was only when I looked up and realised he was laughing at me that I felt the full horror. He didn’t just laugh. Oh no. He opened his mouth, quite widely…. and then pointed at me….. and then at my erm….. boob area. Clearly indicating he saw what I did. And then he cracked up again. While singing.

So now, I have come to realise that on Sunday the 29th June, it pretty much looked like I felt myself up in front of The Backstreet Boys.  Usually, I wouldn’t care. I also did the same thing in front of McBusted later on in the night but thankfully for me, they were too focused on their performance to see some fangirl shoving things down her bra.

I don’t exactly have …. small boobs. So I mean…. I was wearing a you know ‘normal me’ top. And I mean…. It just kind of looked like I was pulling my top down to flash the Backstreet Boys. I wasn’t. No. I saved that for McBusted ;-)

So…. that was an experience anyway. I just always have it in my head that these people can’t actually see you , even if you are at the front. They proved me wrong with the whole serenading and bra thing though hey.

And when he noticed mine and Lizzy’s reaction at him noticing what I had just done, he laughed even more…. so …. even though it is definitely one of my more embarrassing moments…… Thanks Brian! You just about made my day!!


Anyway, minus #bra-gate …. BSB were incredible. It’s a shame really, I can’t even remember any songs….. I can,, but they won’t be in order. They sang a lot of songs.

My favourite of course being I Want It That Way….. which is also when Bra-Gate happened. That was definitely a special song. It made me want to book up tickets for their tour and I’m not even a huge fan of them. I am now though. Well done Backstreet Boys!! Awesome show.

But of course, they didn’t beat the main event. McBusted were everything I hoped they would be. I will tell you all a secret…. I used to love James Bourne. He was my favourite in Busted and I was pretty certain he would be my husband ;-) But since the wonder of twitter and growing up, I started to go off him. I unfollowed him.  Maybe he just didn’t come across very well online…. maybe it was just all in my head, but I really started to lose my fangirl for him.

As soon as I saw them all up on stage though….. the fangirl thing for James came back. He was directly in front of me so it was obviously meant to be. And whatever I think of his personality these days, he puts on a great show!!




It was amazing how easily he transported me back to those teenage years. Busted remind me of my first boyfriends and staying out til all hours. They remind me of being a carefree teenager and not having a lot to worry about. They remind me of awesome times!

McBusted kicked off with Air Hostess!! I love this song. The little kicks and jumps they do are brilliant as ever. They all still rock as much as they did years ago. They put in such an energetic performance. They did all the most famous songs, Crashed The Wedding, 5 Colours In Her Hair, Shine A Light On Her, Who’s David , You Said No, What I Go To School For, Obviously and even Thunderbirds!!

There were other songs that were played but my head was in such a daze that I can’t really remember anything else……

But I do know the best song of the whole night. The song that made me tear up. Yes you can all think i’m sad, you can all laugh. I’m not even sorry.

Sleeping With The Light On is not only my favourite Busted song, but one of my favourite songs of all time. I adore it. I think it’s beautiful ….. and I noticed back in the day that anyone who wasn’t a Busted fan seemed to like the song as well.

I asked Lizzy if she thought they would do it. She thought they would but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I was already seeing McBusted, I didn’t think I would be lucky enough to get my favourite song played as well.

So you can imagine my screams of delight when they launched into it. As soon as James Bourne started playing the song, I honestly got emotional. Sometimes, a song just gets to you. I don’t know why, it just gives me shivers every time I hear it. And I got to see it played live guys!!! THEY PLAYED SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHT ON right in front of my face!! Let’s all jump around with ice-creams in  celebration.

It was beautiful. I zoned out and sang my heart out, much to the horror of the people around me. I will never forget that moment. Standing there with Lizzy who I have known since I was three and finally seeing McBusted was just brilliant. No other words for it.




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We actually had an awesome interaction with two of the Mcfly boys as well which I don’t think our fangirling hearts will ever get over.

Tom Fletcher came over, directly in front of us and we of course started screaming his name like the 13 year old teenage girls we really are…. and he beamed at us, then started telling us to jump. Which is hard with these boobs. But we did and he was amazing. It was a really sweet little interaction and I can’t really explain what happened without sounding really dorkish and weird, but it was magical.


And then Danny Jones. Ah Danny. This was special. Tom has always been my favourite Mcflyer, and we got a moment with him. So it seemed only fair that we got a moment with Danny who has always been Lizzy’s favourite Mcflyer. It was so cute. I don’t have the moment it happened because it was on Lizzy’s phone, but he came over in front of us to mess around with…. James or Dougie, I can’t remember which one. And the crowd was pretty quiet at this moment in time.

Lizzy got her camera out because her man was standing right in front of her, and i cheered and wooped his name at the exact moment Lizzy was taking a picture, so he looked down at us and started posing for the picture. It was so awesome. She was gutted to have missed his pose by a few seconds, but she still got a great picture of him! It was a really cool moment and the smile he gave us melted our hearts.

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This blog seems a bit weird to me, going on about these people who were interacting with us from the stage, but I had to write it down because we never expected it in a million years. Not at all. Despite having tickets for the golden circle, we never expected to be that close. And we had no clue anyone would look at us, so it definitely made the day all the more special.

We lived our teenage dream yesterday and it was worth every single second. The buzz isn’t going to go away anytime soon, not even tomorrow morning when I have to be up at 4am for work!

29/06/2014 was magical. Now let’s never talk about Bra-Gate again. xox