I’m Not That Girl


Thanks to those of you who read my last blog post!! It had a really good response and I just couldn’t quite get my head around the fact that despite me not having posted a blog for months…. people were still hanging on and waiting. So thanks again. You crazy people.

Just a teeny quick paragraph to say that I braved it on my own and rushed to a Sandy Valli Jersey Boys last weekend and boy am I glad I did. I hadn’t seen Sandy for so long due to work and other issues …. so I had missed him on stage. I randomly ended up sitting right next to Caroline and her Mum, and it was nice to feel not so alone even though I was alone at the theatre!! Sandy was on fire. To see how much he has grown since he first took over as Frankie V is quite something. He gave me goose bumps and proudness all over. Last Saturdays Can’t Take My Eyes Off You was the best I have ever seen it performed in any Jersey Boys show ….and yes folks, he is still dreamy. (I mean…..that was always a given wasn’t it?) I yet again had Jon Boydon as my Tommy DeVito, not breaking his run yet. Chris Stoddart was Bob Gaudio for my second time seeing him and Gary Watson as Nick was fantastic as per usual. P.S …. I would genuinely steal Gary Watson and face jail time. He is just ….. Ugh. I adore him.


Anyway, yes…..Sandy was amazing and yesterday, if all of you heard weird cracks throughout the day…it was probably the sound of a million girls hearts breaking. Yes, yesterday Sandy Moffat officially ran off and got married. And not even to me. I know!! In fact, he didn’t run off. It was quite a planned thing. So congratulations to him and his new wife!! I hope they are very happy together. Love hearts and fairy tales all around.

Not sure if I mentioned before but I am obsessed with the Wicked soundtrack since being blown away by the West End production with the incredible Natalie Andreou playing Elphie. I have been listening to the songs non stop. Obviously you have all the big hitters such as Defying Gravity, Popular and One Short Day….but the whole show is full of very clever songs. Take ‘I’m Not That Girl’ for example. I love this song. The words in it really hit home to me every single time. I am pretty sure that all girls have maybe felt like this at some point in their lives. It is essentially about not being good enough. And I’m not just speaking in terms of being good enough for other people, more in being good enough for ourselves.

It is hard to love yourself sometimes. It is hard to even like yourself. But stories, songs, books, shows….they show us time and time again that it is only when we start accepting ourselves that other people will like us too. And it does happen like that in real life. At least in past experiences I have had anyway. There has to come a point where you stop moping, stop regretting, and stop freaking out about who you are and what you could do to improve yourself. There has to come a time where you are happy in your skin. The trouble is… in this day and age…. a huge amount of the world will say they are happy even if they aren’t.

And even though I am really writing this to encourage you all to love yourselves (I’m proper motivational ain’t I?) …. I am also saying it is OK to have a moment. A moment like Elphie in I’m Not That Girl. If we all walked around absolutely sure of ourselves it would be a pretty boring and predictable life wouldn’t it? Nowadays, people seem to think you are weak if you have a moment of ‘I’m not good enough’ …… even though those same people will have the same weak moments.

It’s OK to doubt yourself. It’s OK to be happy with yourself. But just live life and do both at some point.

Today I went to the beach with the littles. All I saw on this crowded beach were girls who were prettier than me, thinner than me, taller than me….probably smarter than me. While they sunned themselves in bikinis and swimming costumes, I ran after my two children in jeans and a bright yellow shirt and matching headband (because I’m quite cool like that…..) looking red faced from the heat and out of place. But then I scanned the crowd for a closer look and realised that after all that doubt….I fit in perfectly. There was the elderly gent walking along with his feet in the ocean, in a blazer and straw hat, just appreciating life. There was a lady of what would be considered a ‘bigger’ size strutting around in a bikini that was smaller than my shoelace. There were a group of teenage boys….five in all , taking the mick out of each other for varying reasons. But most of all…nobody was looking at me.

That is what we all get caught up in I think. Especially in those moments of doubt and weakness, we get caught up in paranoia. There is me freaking out, fully clothed in pretty bright choices, worrying like mad what that size eight blonde model in the bikini will think of me. But the truth of the matter is, she didn’t look up once. And what I hoped she would have seen is a happy family of three, Me and my two ever so gorgeous littles, enjoying the beach like everyone else.

I’m Not That Girl. I’m not a blonde tiny model. I’m not Hugh Jackmans wife. I’m not going to win any prizes for curing diseases. In fact, I’m not going to win any prizes for simple maths because I’m shit at it and my nine year old brings home work that I struggle with…….. I’m Not That Girl .

But I Am This Girl. And I think that right now….. being this girl is OK.

Even if it does mean I am the type of girl to take one lick of an ice-cream, trip over a stone and spill said ice-cream all down my boobs then get chased by a wasp while shouting and drawing attention to myself on a packed beach.

But like I said, I’ll take her for now.

Stagey Update! Jersey Boys and Wicked <3


I start off every post like this now, but sorry it has taken so long for the update! My laptop broke on me just around the same time as everything else broke on me, I just haven’t been able to get up and running since. But now I’m back. And I can just see you all breathing a sigh of relief. Or is it gasps of horror? *shrugs*…..anyway…….

Since I last updated there have been many things to blog about, all of which have completely went from my head now. I will start with my one true stagey love. Jersey Boys!!

I probably don’t need to state how many times I have been to Jersey Boys since I last blogged….. it’s enough anyway!. There is one major change in the Jersey Boys line up since my last post though. Mr Gary Watson. Of course there were a few other talented people who joined the show in March, but I want to talk about Gary.

The first time I saw him was probably about two weeks into his run as Nick Massi. He took over from the unbelievably too good to be true handsome Matt Nalton. I won’t lie, I missed Matt, I still do. Nobody else other than Nalton can be that tall and talented at banging their heads on tables. I would jump at the chance to see Matt on stage again, and I am certain that I will get to one of his shows in the future. But Matt moved on and so did Jersey Boys.

The first time I saw Gary, I was pleasantly surprised. I very much enjoyed him as Nick and thought for somebody who had only just started the role, he was pretty damn good (As all west end peoples are, they aren’t exactly un-talented….not sure if that’s a thing but I’m using it)…… then I saw Gary for a second and third and fourth time….. (I will stop there, I want to at least create the illusion I do things other than Jersey Boys…..)…((Probably not going well so far, Ha)

Each new time I saw Gary, I liked him more and more. The second time I saw him, he had me crying with laughter at one point. And the thing is, there is no way that you could ever compare what he does to what Matt Nalton did. Gary makes it his own role, as did Matt. And that is what makes it so special. Now, I can’t imagine going to see a Jersey Boys without Gary. He fast became one of my favourite west enders. I know this doesn’t count for much, because we go for the acting and the show…but if any of you ever stage door and haven’t met Gary yet, I suggest you give it a try and see if you can catch a quick hello. That man is absolutely and deliciously lovely. All he has to do is utter a few sentences and you want to take him home. Seriously. He’s brilliant.

In other Jersey Boys news, Michael Watson is still magical. No huge surprises there. Still most definitely a Michael fan girl. Edd Post always puts a smile on my face as you all know. And Jon Boydon is just lush. I go a bit gooey when I talk about Jon. Or look at Jon. Or listen to Jon. Or anything to do with Jon. Because he is one of the best people I have ever seen on stage and has never, ever had an off day. He has also been at every single Jersey Boys I have been to and you can all shout about how good other Tommys are, I get it…. but Jon is my Tommy. And that is all there is to it. You can have favourite movie actors, favourite people in a band, so I don’t get why it’s so frowned upon to state that you prefer a certain west end actor. It doesn’t mean that I think anyone else would be crap, it just means that I adore Jon and think he’s one talented man. Also, in super exciting news….his second album is getting ever nearer, I can’t wait. I nearly pee myself with excitement when his kickstarter updates come through. Fangirl crazy.

And what about the stud of the West End ….. Sandy Moffat. Well…. I’ve gotta be honest, he has been a little trickier to get to see. His regular schedule is Tuesday evenings and Saturday matinees. On the rare occasion I get a Saturday off, it is spent with the littles. Then Tuesdays I work til the evening so I wouldn’t get to the show on time. So it really only leaves when he covers Michaels holidays at the minute…… I have a few holidays coming up and you can bet your arse that I will be getting to a Sandy V show. But just putting it out there that although I haven’t been able to see Sandy as much as I would have liked lately, it by no means makes me less of a fan. I still think he is the best thing to ever grace the west end. All of him, not just his legs. Though his legs are an important part. But what really matters right now is that Sandy has been nominated for Understudy of the year!!! How amazing is that?! I am pretty sure that everyone who reads this blog will be a Sandy fan anyway but please vote for him if you haven’t already! He deserves it so much. He’s incredible. Just throwing the word fangirl out there one more time……fangirl. Cool.

In other stagey news, a few weeks ago I went to the best show I have ever seen. I saw Wicked. Some of you might look at me in confusion at that, because I have just spent a mammoth amount of time waffling on about Jersey Boys….but let me explain. Jersey Boys is my favourite show ever. It is my happy place. I could go a hundred times and not get bored. Wicked was different. Wicked was always the show I vowed I had to see. Wicked blew me away but I honestly don’t think It’s a show I could watch again and again. It would lose it’s magic. It is such a huge production that you are completely and utterly in awe. Jersey Boys will never lose the magic for me, even when Sandy goes :-( even when Michael goes :-( Even when Jon goes :-(…. I will still go back because I love the show. But when I watched Wicked, I felt like I had just been put through the ringer and that would get draining on a regular basis!!

I saw a show with Natalie Andreou playing Elphaba. I was left speechless. Pretty rare for me right?? As most of you will know, the gorgeous Natalie melted all our hearts when she played the lovable Sherrie in Rock Of Ages. I couldn’t wait to see her in something else but I honestly wasn’t prepared for the emotion that came over me as I watched her. When she first walked out in all her green glory, I felt proud. I thought ….’Aw, this is going to be a good show’….. I didn’t know how wrong I was. It was spectacular. Natalie has the most incredible voice. Of course I knew that with her playing Sherrie, but I didn’t know how special her voice was til I saw her in Wicked. This Wicked part of the blog is so gushing but I can’t help it. As I was saying to a friend earlier, every girl who plays Elphie is going to have an amazing voice, that’s a given….but I feel like every girl also goes down the Indina route of playing Elphie. And why not? There is nothing wrong with that. Indina Menzel is a star. Following in her footsteps is pretty damn awesome. But Natalie was just something else entirely. I can’t explain it really, but it was her mannerisms, it was the riffs in her voice. She was stunning. I mean….it’s hard enough to sing Defying Gravity in the first place right? But Natalie adds her own touch and little riffs and leaves me with my mouth wide open wondering how the hell she can riff and belt out those notes. I did tweet about it on the day, but I was not exaggerating when I said that by the interval I was a crying, shaking mess. I didn’t know what to with myself. I had to make a phone call home and I couldn’t speak. It was like I had just touched an electric fence….. or something. Probably not best to describe an incredible theatre experience as like being electrocuted but I don’t even know what to say about it!!! And that folks, is why I’m shit at blogging.

As the second act started up, I sat there pretty smug in my seat knowing that nothing could top the first act. Nothing could beat Natalies Defying Gravity. So yet again I was floored as Nat sang For Good with Savannah Stevenson and I blubbed like a baby. Then at the end when she took her bow, I was so proud that I was crying again. And I hate that term really, I hate saying that I’m proud. How can you be proud of someone you don’t know?! I took the piss out of myself that time at Jersey Boys when we were speaking to Matt Thorpes parents after his first ever Frankie performance. The words proud were said then and it made me cringe and laugh because we don’t know these people on a personal level for us to have the right to be proud. But that’s exactly what I felt about Natalie. Proud. Proud that she had went from a first class Sherrie (Sounds like a cocktail) to a world class Elphaba. I just kept thinking about how Broadway needs her. Or how anywhere needs her. They should just send Natalie to places so she can be all green and singy and it will instantly do good.

Anyway, she was great, I absolutely loved her and the show….but sitting through it multiple times is a big no from me. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it. Will I see it again? Of course. I can’t bloody wait!! I hope to see it two or three times more. But I need to recover from that one first!! Going to that show on a regular basis would finish me off! Emotionally and financially. Ha!!

Anyway…. I think for now that is about it. I’m sure I will be back with more garbage now the laptop is back in action.

I’m off to watch trashy TV. Love Island final!!!! Boom.

First Comes Love….Then Comes Marriage….


It’s been a while since I’ve updated!! I think the last post was made up of fit men and Jersey Boys…. Well, I don’t think. I know, Because that is the theme of most of the posts on this site. Also, since that post …I may or may not have seen Jersey Boys again once or twice. But for once…. I’m not here to say about how good and sexy all that stuff was, I’m here to talk about some other things.

I am here to give my opinion on which none of you will give a fuck on the worlds big issues. The world which we live in currently does indeed have issues. For the most part, I try to be a positive person. I really….REALLY…. try. It just doesn’t always work out that way.

Snap judgement. A snap judgement is a common thing. Do you guys ever look at someone and ‘think’ something about them when you know precisely zero facts about them? I have before. I have looked at people and made a judgement in my mind. And that makes me a shitty person because we shouldn’t be judging anyone. But the judging in my mind is where it stops. Because if I were to say it out loud….. that would make me an awful kind of human baked bean and nobody needs that. When snap judgements are spoken out loud, that is when people get hurt. It becomes dangerous.

The other day, as I stood behind the counter at Superdrug, looking out at the grey, rainy and miserable day….. a customer walked up to snap me out of my daydream about having a coffee with Hugh Jackman. (Fine, I was having mind sex with him, but that isn’t what is important here….. keep up people.) The customer was a lady who looked to be in her late sixties (I could of course, be totally wrong……), she was wearing an outfit like people wear for horse riding…. and she had an air of snootiness about her.

I put on my best smile that has broken a thousand hearts this year alone (Not really……) and packed away her items she had just purchased in a bag. She looked out at the dreary weather and sighed.

“Oh gosh, it’s such a mare to have this weather when you line dry. I line dry everything. I have no time for tumble dryers and the sorts. Line drying makes everything so much fresher you know.”

I nod politely while handing her the bag. She then thinks it appropriate to lean over the counter, invading my personal space and gave me a patronizing grin.

“Of course, you wouldn’t know about that would you. I expect your Mummy does it all for you.”

Yes, she used the word Mummy. I blinked in shock, wondering if I was hearing things. I managed to stumble out a ‘Huh?’ …. She rolled her eyes.

“Your Mummy. I expect she does all your washing so you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about. You young girls of 16-18….you are always getting your Mummy to do these things for you.”

She laughed. An annoyingly loud and snotty laugh that made me want to shove her radox bubble bath where the sun don’t shine.

“Actually…. I’m older than I look.”

I could have said many things. I could have said that I have been doing my own washing since I was twelve. I could have said that on a daily basis I wash the clothes of the two children I’m bringing up. I could have said that her comment was uncalled for because for all she knew, my Mum might not be with us anymore. (She is, but I have a few friends who lost their Mums and I found her comment highly insensitive and insulting for many , many reasons.)  Instead, I just left it at that. There is no way I was about to divulge personal facts about my children to this snooty old bag.

She raised an eyebrow.

“How old?”

Now it was my turn for the smug grin, knowing that what I was about to say would shock her….. (Seriously people……. I’m an adult. Why do you all find that so hard to believe?! Don’t answer that. Rhetorical question…….)

“I’m 28.”

Her face was quite the picture.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m 28. TWENTY EIGHT. I’ve been doing my own washing for years love.”

I am positive the next five minutes was just her standing there going …..

“No you are not, you’re not 28. There is no way you are that age. I had you at 18 at the most. That is shocking. Wow.”  Repeat 25 times.

I just stood there, nodding politely again, praying for another customer so this woman could be on her way. But nobody came.

“Please tell me you have a husband?”

I looked at her blankly and muttered the old ‘Huh’ again. To which she rolled her eyes. Again.

“I said, please tell me you have a husband. You can’t make it to twenty eight and not be married.”

The look on her face told me that the thought of me being twenty eight with no marriage was almost as bad as when Madonna fell off the stage at the Brits. Only worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another customer coming my way so stupidly…. I kind of nodded. More to get her out of the way so I didn’t lose my temper, not because I was agreeing with her. She then tutted loudly.

“You aren’t wearing a ring.”

I shrugged.

“Lost it.”

I muttered really quietly. I meant my patience. With her. But luckily she didn’t find that bit out as she walked away before I could potentially get myself sacked for letting rip at the woman.

Why the flying fuck does it matter to her if I’m married or not? Why does it matter that I have no husband at the grand old age of twenty eight?! In fact…. why would it matter to her if I had no husband at sixty eight? What business is it of hers??

The way she just presumed things about me was ridiculous. Why would anybody say such stupid things to a stranger?I mean…. when the lady first walked up to the counter, I made a snap judgement about her…in my mind. I thought she looked in her late sixties. I could have been wrong. She may be in her early forties. (I seriously doubt that though!!) I also thought she had an arrogant and snooty air about her. But….but but but…… I didn’t tell her those things. Because sometimes, you just don’t need to say everything you are thinking. If we all said what we initially thought of people, there would be many hurt people walking this planet.

There really is no need to be nasty to people. I will never understand why people do it. Back in my hairdressing days, I had a client with a huge visible lump on her head She knew it was there, I knew it…. everyone else could see it as well. Would there have been any need for me to point it out to her? Of course not!!! Because it’s not a done thing to do and most importantly because this woman was a gem. She cared about everyone and everything and had an infectious laugh. Plus, she never once came in and said to me…. ‘Ergh, you look hideous and snotty’ during one of my regular hayfever bouts or ‘What the hell are you wearing today? You look ridiculous.” So why would I say anything to her? Yes it is an entirely different situation….but my point is….. stop the judging and nastiness.
I’m not a saint. I don’t think anyone is. We all secretly think things about people we encounter. I mean…. I see gorgeous men in the street….but I don’t go up to them and say…. “Phwoarrr, you’re fit.” (Unless of course they are Sandy Moffat or Michael Watson and the likes…..) . So it works both ways. You just don’t need to say everything. Sometimes, words are better left unsaid.

So to the lady who thought I was too young and stupid to do my own washing and believes that unless you are married at a young age you are failing in life….. Tip for you – Button it. Thanks love.

On the same sort of subject…. this week, one of my littles had her hair chopped off.


The girl has been wanting ‘Taylor Swift’ hair for bloody ages now. She has always liked her hair shorter, on her shoulders. But recently, she has been growing it. All of the girls in her class have longer hair and it’s unusual to see a girl of her age with this hair style. Before Leona had the cut, we had a talk and she wanted to know why people thought that girls were beautiful with long hair. Why couldn’t girls have shorter hair and still be beautiful. Basically, the eight year old mind is questioning why we live in such a shallow world. I tried to explain that she didn’t need to try and fit in with the others. That as long as she’s a nice person and treats everyone with respect, it didn’t matter how the hell she had her hair. What matters is inside. I also explained to her that she was beautiful with long or short hair. I probably went a bit over the top when I said she would still be beautiful covered in snot and rotten eggs.

But isn’t a shame that a girl as young as eight was afraid of having her hair cut the way she prefers it? Isn’t that just horrible? It’s a sign of the times we live in. And it doesn’t get better. I wish I could wrap her up and tell her things get better. But ….. they don’t. I mean….. I’m not stupid. There will be a day when one or both of my kids come home because somebody has said something nasty to them. They still have to go through high school as yet and that is a cruel world to be in sometimes. At the time, you think it is just you being picked on , that the world is against you. You don’t realise until you are older that everyone was in the same boat. I bumped into a girl from school a while back. She was popular and had some wonderful high school years. But she had a nasty rumour made up about her one day that she had a hairy chest. That may sound laughable and kiddish now….but it obviously hurt her at the time. It is something everyone goes through at some point and I can’t shield the littles from everything.

At the moment, my kids are in a great position. They are both well liked, bright and kind. Their friends love them to pieces. And even though Leona was initially worried about going for shorter hair….. it turned out that her friends loved it and two of them said they want to have it done now. But when the day comes they do get hurt by cruel words, all I can do is insist the words aren’t true and make them face the world with courage and love in their hearts. Because that is all that matters.

I read an article the other day about the parents who got leg tattoos because their little girl had a large leg birthmark and they wanted her to feel like she fit in. There has been a huge divide in if it was the right thing for the parents to do. Some people think it was an exceptional show of love, others thought it was over the top and unnecessary.


My little man has a large birthmark on his back. It means that every time he goes swimming, or gets changed in P.E, or even crouches down to get something…. people can see it. It means that last summer, as he ran around in his swimming shorts at the local water sprinkler park, I had some parents stare in confusion and then look at me. It looks like a huge purple bruise on his lower back. I always describe it as an upside down square heart. It’s a surface birthmark and has been tested when he was a babe to make sure there were no underlying issues with it. It’s right in the middle of his back. So as a parent to a little with a noticeably large birthmark on his body….. I get what the parents did. If that is the way they wanted to make their little girl feel better then good on them. I have always spoke to Lex about his birthmark and told him it just makes him unique. His birthmark is a part of him just as Leonas smallness is a part of her ;-) I have told him to tell people it’s his special birthmark if he is asked about it, which he has been many times by his friends at school. The reaction he has from other children has always been brilliant. His friends think it is the coolest thing and want one for themselves!! It’s the adults that are always going to be difficult…..having them staring at you because they think it’s a bruise or that he has been harmed. The parents in the article mentioned that they have had whispering and stares thrown their way because it looks like their little girl has been burnt or hurt in some way. So I do completely get why they did what they did. If that is the way they want to make their daughter feel better about herself then who are we to judge? Lex knows that his birthmark makes him different and he embraces it. As he has told me many times….nobody else has got it. It’s his and his alone. And it makes him beautiful just like Leona and whatever length her hair happens to be.

When a world that is so full of wonderful things focuses so negatively on the shallow things, it makes me sad. It shouldn’t be that way. Stop all the judging, stop all the staring and stop all the nastiness. And if you are judging somebody….just keep it inside in case you are so far with the wrong idea you can’t even find your way back to right.

Let’s all just be nice to each other and spread some love.

Also…. on a completely unrelated note…. I met Boycie today!!! Yes… Boycie of ‘Only Fools and Horses’ fame. Random and so bloody cool. Day made!!


Stagey Stuff…..


I have met some brilliant people since I became a theatre fan. What? No , I’m not talking about the friends I’ve made. I meant hot men….. duh.

No, but seriously, more on ‘theatre friends’ in a bit……

I was having a look back on pictures earlier and couldn’t help but smile and relive the memories. I have had some amazing times, met some absolute hunks and seen some incredible shows since becoming hooked to the stage, I didn’t realise until I looked back on these pictures just how many good times I’ve had. And then there have been the times I didn’t get any pics.

I’m going to post some of my favourite stage door pics, it will be lovely to have them all in one post. This blog entry is more like a scrapbook for me so you should probably just ignore. Unless you want to look at hot men of course, in which case, stay for the ride.


Dan Fletcher!! I love this picture, but mainly for the conversation that went on before. He’s a laugh!! He can take insults with good humour so that is great. Anyway, I can’t remember why we ended up having a picture now because I had another one with him before…but I like this one anyway.


I ADORE this one for obvious reasons!! Nigel Fricking Harman!! This was during I Can’t Sing when he played Simon Cowell. He was brilliant and such a lovely, quiet and unassuming guy. He looked quite bewildered that fans were there to see him. I had a bit of a crush on him since the Eastenders days so I was made up when I got to meet him and see him perform <3

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Ross Hunter who played Drew in Rock Of Ages!! This was special to me because it was the first time I had ever met anyone at stage door!! In fact, Sandy was the first one I met, which was awesome as he was my favourite. I had a little chat with him and got a picture, but the less said about that the better…. let’s just say… I was nervous and looked like a swamp monster next to him. Ross came out next and was an absolute sweetheart. Happy to pose for pictures. Also, I have to mention how he used to bend down for pictures as well, it was soooo cute!! Some of us can’t compete with the tall-ness so it made us shorties feel not quite so small.

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That very same day, I also got a picture with Simon Lipkin. Also absolutely lovely!! He was playing Lonny in Rock Of Ages and it was a weird moment for me. I remember going home, looking at the pictures with Ross, Sandy and Simon thinking…. hhhmmm… I didn’t even know stage door was a thing. Now I have three pictures, It is quite a lovely feeling. If you watch someone on the TV or a film, you can’t stop and say…. “Hey …you were good.”
But you can with the stage, if they want to stop of course. I would never expect anyone to stop and will only speak to them if they say something or look like they want to stay and say hi.


Another Lipkin one!! In fact, looking through my pictures… I realised I randomly had six with him!! I have no idea how they all happened, I don’t even remember asking for a pic all of those times!! There is one on the Rock Of Ages stage with him, Ali and Emma, that one just happened. And a few of the others did as well. But anyway, this day was boiling hot and it was so nice to be in London, seeing my favourite show with a good friend. Happy days.


Michael Watson….!! You probably all know that this was my favourite ever stage door picture. I absolutely loved it because Michael kind of creeps up on you. I went from not knowing who he was to him being one of my favourite and most talented West End men. This was the first night I saw him perform. Weirdly enough, I had met him before this but you will know the story of that if you read this blog!! He was lovely and it was one of my best nights ever. Catch him as Frankie Valli in Jersey Boys, he’s there for another year!!!


This is a (very,very bad) selfie with Michael!! This was another night and there have been five pictures with him all in all. I sort of mentioned that I looked demonic on the first picture I had with him and so a few more resulted because he insisted. He’s nice like that. I can’t believe these guys would stop for a chat and even one picture let alone multiple ones!!

Which brings me to my brand spanking new favourite <3 10895487_327459970793854_742066263_n

I plucked up the courage to ask the best man in the West End for another picture where I didn’t look like a monster and he kindly agreed.
Plus, any excuse to show this picture over and over again!! I’m just proud of myself for being able to kind of stand near him without freaking out. So yes, good moment.

Let’s not forget these very important ones either…..

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Thanks for those gems – Michael, Edd and Sandy…. Nice chatting with you in those moments……

There have been loads of other pictures, I have been super lucky. Nathan Amzi, Dylan Turner, Matt Thorpe and Thomas Goodridge to name a few :-) I can’t show you them all because I’m on a time limit right now which I’m sure you are all relieved about!! And I have to move on to the more important stuff than hot men…..

There has always been a lot of talk about ‘Theatre friends’. Can you really make friendships based on liking a certain show? Are they as important as ‘in your real life’ friends? Can you maintain a friendship just on a particular show preference? Especially if you don’t even live in London. You can’t just hop on a tube to meet up for coffee with these friends, For me, it would be expensive train fares and two hours later just to see them So are the people I have met exclusively through going to the theatre my ‘real’ friends? Even Jon Boydon posed a similar question on twitter the other day. Let me try and answer that……

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Can you make friends with other theatre people? Of course you can. You can meet gems and you can try your arse off to get to London and the same show as them.

But can you make best friends with somebody you met through theatre? Can you have a friendship where you talk every day, do other things besides theatre, talk about other things and meet up with them as much as you can?

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I think I’m going to go with yes.

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In fact….. It’s a pretty resounding yes. You can definitely make real, every day, crazy bloody friends through theatre.

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Yes Jon Boydon. Yes everyone else who cares to know. You can most definitely become best and crazy friends from just going to the theatre. You can build a friendship based on a show that leads to all kinds of other adventures. Noor, (Where the shitting hell are our pictures together?!) Paps and of course…. Jus. This probably would prove to most people that occasionally….. you can take a friendship from the theatre and suddenly….they become as dear to you as the other friends you have in your real at home life.

You three are no longer my theatre friends. You are now friends. The best friends. Combined with my other friends, I know a fucking good bunch.


Keep On Keeping On….


I know, I love that saying. I have used it to death on this blog haven’t I?!

January is still screwing around on me. But hey, two days left to salvage!! And earlier on… I had a kit kat so life can’t get much better really.

You know when you are only twenty eight but you are convinced that you are an extinct dinosaur. But a really weak one? No?? Just me that gets that feeling? OK.

Right now I am a walking disaster. I can’t do anything with my left wrist… (Oi!! Less of the dirt…. filthy.) I have a twisted ankle and the other ankle has a huge cut on it from walking into a broken washing basket, I have a massive bruise on my thigh from not seeing the giant black cooker in front of me. So I kind of hobble along painfully and screech whenever I accidentally push or pull something with my left hand. It’s comical to other people I’m sure. Not so fun for me though. *Tiny violins people, tiny violins.* And now I have the eye thing.

The eye thing was bad guys. So Tuesday came, and I had a day off work. I was at home, excitedly folding the washing (don’t feel too sorry for me, I like doing the washing, I like all house work apart from washing up, I’m annoying like that…. and anyway, I tend to zone out and imagine Hugh Jackman naked so it’s fine.) …. when it hit me that I haven’t seen Sandy Moffat as Frankie Valli for months. Since early November actually. So I half heartedly went online to check if there were any tickets free that evening. There were, and at a good price as well. I decided to go as a last minute thing, also messaging Jus to say …. “If you have any plans, you can cancel them because you should probably come to Jersey Boys with me.” She agreed straight away. Weirdly enough, she takes no convincing to see Sandy Moffat. Who knew?

Anyways, as I was finishing last minute bits, my eye started to hurt. It felt like I had something in it, so I kept checking and there was nothing there. It didn’t look sore or anything so I couldn’t figure it out.

I hopped on the train to London, (and by hopped I mean not at all hopped) while being unusually impatient with a dude who decided to come and sit right near me on a virtually empty train. Why do people do that?! I wouldn’t have cared so much but he was eating noisily throughout the journey and randomly playing bursts of shit music. I guess I could have moved but…. seemed like too much hard work. I soon told him with my loud sighs and rolling of the eyes. He won’t mess with me again.

When I got on the tube, my eye started feeling worse with all the wind and swooshing trains but I ignored it. I also told a lad who was from Dublin to get on the wrong train by accident. He told me he was moving to Scotland but he had no bags or anything with him so …. shrugs. The people you meet in London……

I met with Jus when she finished work, and as soon as I started talking to her , my eye got ten times worse. Must have been her face. ;-)

Then to pass the time she took me to some … wait, I can’t remember now….. Norwegian cafe? Jus… what cafe was it?! I don’t even know. She had a pancake but it looked like a bit of cheese on toast with jam on. I just thought I would throw that useless information out there. If anyone wants to cook for Jus in future, cheese on toast with Jam will do just fine. She insisted it was a sweet pancake but I’m not so sure……

We shuffled in to the Piccadilly, grabbed some wine and sat in our seats. We mixed it up a bit and sat at the other side of the front row this time, I know …. we are fucking hardcore. No stopping us when we get going. (At the time of picking these seats, we didn’t think it through and forgot we would mostly be in front of Sandy for the big numbers and for the Beggin dance’ ….. *Jumps into a cold shower after remembering that*) .

My eye was still hurting but I thought…. Oh well. The show will take my mind off it. It didn’t. My eye killed. So the show started and the lights came up and the pain got worse, Every time there was a change in lights, my eye would hurt….. and more embarrassingly….. water. This meant I had to keep wiping tears away. Which meant it looked like I was crying ALL THROUGH THE SHOW!!! Jus even checked my eye in the interval and told me off like a Mother would .

Jus: Stop rubbing your eye!! Stop it!!

Me: I’m not rubbing it!!! I’m wiping tears away.

Jus: I don’t care, stop touching it.

Me: But I have to hold it open so I can actually see what is happening!! I can’t look up!! It feels like a knife slicing my eyeball.

Jus: No. No touching.

She’s a stern but caring friend right??!

Anyway… the show ended and even with only one good eye, the guys all still look shit hot. And Sandy was brilliant, but there are plenty of other posts to read about that.

You will all be proud of me, I even managed to get a picture with him!!! Even though I can barely utter any words to him, a picture was had so….. good.


I know. He’s delicious. He even took it in good humour when I yet again started waffling nonsense about his legs. That man is pretty damn brave to have not fled the country yet. He’s also sexy. Did I mention sexy?

Anyway…. Jus spent the night half looking after me/ half taking the piss out of me. I didn’t get home til two in the morning but when I woke up at sevenish, my eye was swollen and felt bruised. It was agony. To end this very boring self pitying tale…. I got it checked out and turns out there was a sharp bit of grit or something scratching my eyelid and making it infected. Antibiotics and such were given. So that’s nice and attractive. It’s all sorted now and getting back to normal. But remind me to never go to a theatre show with a sore eye again. It hurts.  Also I should point out the pain was causing severe headaches on that side. So you should probably all give me sympathy. Thanks.

I can’t believe I didn’t say this when I was talking about the show!! So Jon Boydon – as in the really talented Jon Boydon who is … well, really talented. And cool. And collected. Well anyway… he came out after the show and I started rambling about my eye to him of all people. Then, as if I wasn’t idiotic enough, I poked myself in the sore eye when I pointed out my sore eye to him…… then he made a funny joke asking if it was an apple in my eye….because of the show ….. and he made the joke twice. TWICE GUYS!!! And it went straight over my head. Ooops.

In my defence, I don’t know if I mentioned it yet but…. I had a sore eye. So.

Those injuries have pretty much summed up the last week. I made my ankle worse in London and by Wednesday, my eye combined with my ankle and useless wrist meant I was quite pitiful at work that day. But I struggled through. Just call me Superman. Or don’t. I tend to fancy all the guys that play Superman and I don’t want to have to have the hots for myself. That could get all kinds of weird.

Keep on keeping on though. Could be much worse. I could be Perez Hilton. Or a cows udder. Can you imagine how bad that would be? They never get any fun. They just get squeezed. And not in a good way. The only time anyone ever wants anything to do with an udder is when they want something from it. Not cool.

It could be better of course. I could have a fully working body right now and be married to Hugh Jackman. What? Don’t look at me like that. It’s true, it could happen. It did happen. Dreams are awesome. Wouldn’t even have to be marriage. Sex will do just fine.

There will be some updates on this blog soon about shows other than Jersey Boys!! Hooray for that!! I adore that show and will always see it when I can, but there are no more words I can say about it on here. It’s all been done. I can’t promise that I won’t ever talk about Sandy on here again though. It just happens like when you get pins and needles.

I’m seeing Assassins soon!! It’s had rave reviews and I can’t wait to check it out. I will always have a soft spot for the Rock Of Ages boys. I love the fact they all seem to be doing well so seeing Lipkin on fine form will be grand.

Also planning on giving Beautiful a visit with Ian Mcintosh and Dylan six pack Turner. In the mean-time, I’m certain I will find something random and pointless to talk about on here. I usually do.

I have a few shows coming up in my home town too. It’s not all about London ya know!! OK , it is. But it’s not. But anyway…. compose yourselves girls…. I will be seeing Gary Lucy get his kit off in the full monty!! Swoon!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaa!!! Honestly…. that man. I have a bit of a thing for a guy with chest hair. He fits the bill. Sadly, I don’t think Sandy will be in a show like that anytime soon. Unless he makes a guest appearance for the show I have a ticket for. Could happen. If not….. well, I have a good imagination in all honesty so it’s fine.

I have also been roped in to seeing Michael Ball with a family member. Can’t say I’m as enthusiastic about that one. Sorry Michael Ball fans.

And there are two others here in Ipswich I’m seeing but I can’t name them without wanting to hide in embarrassment.

I’m off to sleep now. All this talk about The Full Monty and Sandy Moffat right before bed ……

I’m out of here!! xx

The Grass May Be Greener….


…..But I like my shade of green. At the moment, I would say my grass isn’t even a shade of green. It’s more yellowing….fading. But luckily, I like yellow, and rather than seeing my grass as dying earth hair, I’m going to view it as golden corn. Or something. I’ve just realised I’m completely shit at analogies aren’t I?

I got to thinking earlier…. and for me, it was pretty deep. No, seriously. I know most of you think my thoughts are entirely made up of Jersey Boys, hot men, Glee, Coffee and Chocolate but there are other things going on in my teeny tiny brain. Those other things are the more important things and the secrets that I keep guarded in my heart.

This deep thinking sent me into a whole bunch of different brain directions. My 2015 so far…. it’s been standard. Not happy, not sad…just plodding and run of the mill. I haven’t been inspired (apart from when I saw The Theory Of Everything and wanted to rule the world straight after…… https://mysticmonkey86.wordpress.com/ . ) I haven’t set out to do anything or achieve anything other than work, eat, sleep and live my life.And I was OK with that really. But I did find myself wanting more. I want more for my children. What parent doesn’t? I want more for myself. I want to have a real life book published. I want to open my own hair salon in a trendy spot in London. I want to run (or at least eat in) a banana specific cafe. I want to eat dark chocolate chip cookies with a side of raspberries with Hugh Jackman. << He mentioned it on twitter. I’ve been dreaming about it ever since.

And despite all this ‘I want doesn’t get’ …. sometimes it’s good to want things. Because sometimes those things you want can inspire you to change. Wanting doesn’t always have to be seen as a greedy term. It can just be seen as a feeling much like desperation or being excited. It’s a thing we all feel at some point and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

And since the first of January came whooshing in with his winter sky, I have probably been guilty of wanting a few things as you saw above.

I got called in to a work shift today that I wasn’t supposed to be in for. I had been looking forward to spending the weekend with the two littles. Our plans were minimal. Park before the bad weather hits, a few films and bizarrely enough…. teaching Leona how to knit. Along with analogies, it’s another thing I’m shit at.

BUT, even though I needed the weekend with the littles who I miss every single day they are at school, I am also a single parent with a ‘think of the money’ attitude. So I got wrapped up to face the icy weather and started the journey to work.

I found chaos when I arrived. We were horrendously short staffed on a Saturday and I was given the joyous news that the area manager was coming in. (He’s actually a very nice guy but completely terrifying because ….you know. He’s the area manager.)

There must have been something in the air because we had some pretty grouchy customers in today. Some people were just plain rude. That is a whole other post that I am sure I have written about before but honestly guys, there is no need for rudeness. You don’t have to go in a shop and make friends with the person serving you, but a friendly thanks probably wouldn’t go amiss.

One customer I was serving, who was also pretty damn rude, decided to start paying out the six pound fifty four pence she owed in five and ten pence pieces. And she had no hurry despite knowing there was a horrendous queue behind her and I was the only one on the till. (When I say we were short staffed…. we really were.)

I honestly nearly lost my rag when she got to five pounds and ninety pence then shook her empty purse at me and wondered if I would let her have the stuff anyway. No chance love, so many reasons why not….but the main ones being 1) I would lose my job and 2) You were a bit of a miserable old bag to me. So she stood there in a huff while I tried to breathe my anger away and smile at the annoyed customers behind her.

While she figured out what to put back out of her three items….. I had a moment. It was one of those moments where if I was a cartoon character, a bubble would come out of my head and my moment would be displayed for all non cartoonish people to see.

And that moment was this….. Yes, I am standing here in a heaving shop where the heating doesn’t work properly and my hands were like ice and I couldn’t feel my feet. Yes I wanted to be with my littles, watching a DVD on the sofa or having one of them read their school book to me. Yes I had been moaned at all morning by customers because we were understaffed and yes the lady I was currently serving was being the mare of a nightmare customer. But doesn’t all that just seem so ridiculously small and insignificant?!

Life is a mixed bag. You muddle through, you survive, you live it and you get happy, sad and something in between. I realised just how lucky and privileged I was while standing there waiting for the queen of small silver coins. I was lucky to be able to stand behind a freezing till for hours on end. Someone close to me at the moment is badly injured and in a large amount of pain…. they can’t bear to stand for five seconds let alone hours. I went on an eight mile hike with the big brother the other day and grumbled a bit. But I shouldn’t have grumbled because the fact I can do that ….. I should be appreciating those things. And I do. I really do. When I was younger and watched Forest Gump, when he starts running, I always said to myself that I wanted to do that. Just minus the running. I wanted to walk and see where it took me. The world is a beautiful place and the only way you get to see it is by getting out and about. Whether that is through a muddy eight mile hike when you aren’t wearing the right shoes or through a car window…. it’s still magical.

Also…. I am thankful to have a job. I mean…. it’s not the dream job of writing a load of fictional garbage and seeing it be a best seller in paperback form, but it is a paying job. And it’s not a bad one either. I really enjoy my job most days. I’ve done all sorts. Hairdressing, bar work, cleaning, care work…… some jobs ain’t easy. Care work is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life and I salute anyone that can do it. In fact, a Rock Of Ages fan I used to speak to is currently doing a care job. She’s a young girl and I see her doing those twelve hour night shifts and going to work most days a week and I completely admire her for it. I’ve never told her that… we don’t speak much anymore but just in case she’s reading this , Keep at it Danii, you are doing an incredible job!!

Then there are the hard jobs I have never tried, nurses, factories, fast food workers….. anything really. There are much more grueling jobs than mine. I get to see all the new make up products and smell all the perfumes. I also get to buy chocolate at the end of a shift ;-) Nothing bad about that. Superdrug is a fun crowd to be part of.

And I am lucky because I know that after my shift, I DO get to go home to two little people who I love with all my heart and know that they love me. I get to smile as they tell me what they got up to while I was at work. I then get to do the daily chores and make dinner. I get to have a roof over my head.

I can even make myself dark chocolate chip cookies with raspberries on the side and have Hugh Jackman with me. In film form of course.

So yes, I am lucky.

And as I said at the start of this post, I like yellow. Yellow is my favourite colour and if that happens to be my colour of grass right now, it’s fine. Because sometimes…. green is a fine line between boogey and mould on a piece of bread. Green can also be the colour of leeks and leeks are honestly awesome so …. I would be happy with green grass as well. But as long as I am happy with my yellow corn grass stuff then that is the main thing. Everyone can be happy with their grass if they choose to be. I started this post by saying 2015 has been standard, but that is only because I have made it so. I haven’t made time for the excitement yet but it will come.

Despite the things that life can hand us, we all choose our moods. We choose happiness. If we waste our time being sad, angry, or even just……. average, then we are wasting some precious moments.

Despite my deep life is amazing thing I had while serving the customer, I nearly ruined my clarity straight away by swearing out loud when she finally decided on what item to put back and then started counting out her silver again. She literally counted it all very slowly, then for some reason, picked it all up and dropped it randomly on the counter leaving me to pick up the rolling coins as she walked out without waiting for her receipt or saying thanks. Manners. People lack them nowadays that’s for sure.

Luckily, that queue of what I thought were angry customers turned out to be lovely. When I apologised to them for the wait they ALL stressed to me it wasn’t my fault and that they understood.

Moving on to an entirely different subject…. the littles were having a conversation about weather earlier. It was brilliant.

Leona: We were learning about weather at school and had to write down all the different types of rain.

Lex: I watched this programme about rain and they said that a really bad rain is tarantula rain.

Leona: There isn’t such a thing as tarantula rain.

Lex: There is. CBBC said it. Tarantula rain is really heavy and wet. (All rain is wet son, but carry on.)

Leona: No Lex, tarantula is a spider. You know those big hairy spiders that are bigger than normal and I pretended one was on your head once?

Lex: Yeah I know but it is also a rain.

Leona: I think you mean torentionally rain.

Lex. No. I mean tarantula.

Leona: I should know Lex, I was the one learning about it. Maybe when you are in year four, you will understand.

Me trying to calmly diffuse the situation: Uh… guys, you were both so close but you mean torrential.

Leona: I said that.

Lex: No you didn’t , you said tarantula.

Leona: What? YOU said tarantula. I said what Mum said.

I walked away at that point. coffee was needed.

It’s nearly half past midnight and I need to dream about eating cookies with Hugh Jackman. I will let you all get on with enjoying your shade of grass.



And no, I can’t come up with a more original or interesting title than that so don’t even ask. I am currently awestruck. But more on that later.

So today started off pretty damn cute actually. After all the fun (and stress) of the Christmas holiday…. (and by holiday, I mean holiday for the kids…. I worked through bloody most of it), today it was time for the littles to put those ever so boogey green jumpers back on, get their backpacks on their backs and head off to school.

Leona – She’s absolutely fine with this just so ya know. She loves school. She loves school so much that sometimes, when she asks if she really has to have the weekend off …. I wonder what I am actually doing wrong! But Alex…. my little Lex man….. he’s a bit more reluctant with the whole school thing. He tried to explain it today actually…. as he tiptoed up to me before I had gotten out of bed. He was up before me,probably due to nerves.

When he saw that I was half way out of bed, he jumped on my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck. (This time is precious. The day he doesn’t want hugs from me anymore will be ….. no. Stop. Too emotional.)

Me: Morning! Are you all excited for school??

Lex: Yes and no. Yes because I get to see my friends again and I suppose the work we learn is useful. So they tell me. (You can tell that this little 6 year old totally thinks the teachers are conspiring against every student in the world.)

Me: Yes!! It will be good to see your mates and knowledge is power.

Lex: *Looks at me blankly*

Me: But why aren’t you looking forward to going back?

(This is going to melt you all…. these were his actual words……..)

Lex: Because I can’t give you squeezy hugs all day of course.

Me: Aww! But ya know, over Christmas you actually didn’t give me squeezy hugs all day. You played with your new toys and stuff. So you can’t really say that is why you aren’t excited for school can you?

Lex thinks about this and then turns his huge blue eyes on me…. all puppy doggish.

Lex: Well then you should probably let me stay off today. Just today. We can catch up on hugs. I will even let you play on my D.S…….

As tempting as that all was, an hour and a half later we were out the front door ready to go. Little stinking charmer.


As I rounded the corner just at the bottom of my road with the two littles steaming ahead…. I bumped into hot Dad number 242. Yes, fine…. I know I have probably spoken about hot Dads before. And hot men in general. But this one is really hot…. he is always suited and booted and has flecks of grey in his very dark hair. He’s tall and has sparkly eyes and is just absolutely dreamy. So anyways….. the ground was frosty and icy. It was a beautiful morning. Sunny with frost. I love those types of days. The world can look stunning. It can look even better with added hot Dad number 242.


But because I am stupidly clumsy and find it difficult enough to not fall over on a normal non icy day…. I was a bit freaked out when hot Dad stopped to wait for me. I never look cool in front of people, especially dudes like this.

Anyway… pleasantries were exchanged about Christmas and all that jazz, and I didn’t fall over. I very nearly walked into a huge pile of squelchy dog shit…. but the point is though, I didn’t. So I made it to school with no mishaps and then started walking back with him, very proud that I hadn’t ballsed up as yet. Five minutes down the road, I suddenly remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be walking home but going to the shops and posting some letters off. All the boring stuff. But it was in the complete opposite direction. He definitely looked at me a bit funny when I loudly and randomly announced that I had went the wrong the way and had some things to do….. but still, I can’t stress enough that for me….. this is all acceptable and normal.

I go shopping, post office, do all my bits I need to do….. then start walking back half an hour later. As you have probably gathered, he lives just round the corner from me so I had to walk past his to get to mine. As I did so, he was putting his wheely bin out. All romantic things happen when people do this. Forget all that stuff you see in the movies, twinkly stars and candle lit dinners. Oh no, real romance can be found at a stinky household wheely bin.

I stopped and held up my shopping bag to indicate I hadn’t been lying, he just looked bemused. Then he said something horrific.

“Do you want to come in for a coffee??”

No guys, no. Not that kind of coffee. The honestly normal lets do coffee coffee. That type.

The words were horrific because so far, so good. I hadn’t made a twat out of myself (not a huge twat anyway…..) and I didn’t want to ruin that so I said the worst thing that I could ever say.

“Ah. That would have been lovely but I have to put my shopping away and then ermmm….. eerrrrrr….. well, I need to wash my hair.”

I had told him earlier that I had a day off so I couldn’t use work as an excuse. So I naturally said that age old line of washing my hair. That’s right….. Laura the dickhead made an appearance.

Then….. you know when somebody completely over compensates for what they just said and goes all awkward…… I was all….

“But another time would be great! Hey , you should come to mine. I love coffee on a normal basis…… Just today is a real wash the hair type day and just….. (stop talking. Now.)

Safe to say I probably won’t be invited back for a coffee by him in the near future. Or indeed any future.

Remember how I was desperately appealing for somebody to come to the cinema with me on twitter like I was some starving third world charity case? Well it turned out that my sister finished work early, wanted to see the same film I did and thought we should go and grab some food before the show.

Sounded good to me. A nice simple night out with the little sis. What could possibly go wrong? The fact that I have a mouth I guess.

We sat in the pub (One of those two for a tenner jobs…. gotta keep things classy) and just as we had taken a seat…. this energetic and quite frankly bit of alright waiter came bounding over to us asking what we wanted to drink. We decided to get an alcoholic one and told him what we would like where he then proceeded to ask for ID, which is completely fair enough due to the fact Anna only turned 18 last year and I …. according to most people….. look about twelve. (Thanks everyone.) So what should have been a simple ‘Show the guy your ID so he can go get our drinks’ naturally turned into a half hour chat.

It was all about how I look young for my age and how he had the same problem ….. (Although sorry to break it to him, though he was gorgeous… I would have put him at around the 40 mark. I find it highly unlikely he gets ID’d anywhere.) And I think just general life things were spoken about while Anna absolutely cringed in horror. She hates going places with me because we always end up in weird situations.

The waiter brought our drinks over and of course, more chat was had. After that…. every five minutes…. he would come by our table to check up on us. The surrounding tables looked mightily confused as he wasn’t doing it to all of us.

We ordered the food where naturally we got onto a rude conversation about burgers…. (?! ….I spoke to the waiter more than my sister probably. Oooops.) and ten minutes later, the food was brought over.

He said that he would be back in five minutes to check how our food was and I kid you not, he waited approximately 45 seconds before running to our table again and asking how the food was. By that point I had eaten half of a boiling chip and Anna hadn’t even opened her sauce so he was keen.

He stopped by twice more after this to ask about the food. He caught me at my most sexy when I had half a chip dangling from my mouth and some kind of greasy oil over my hands. I told him mid chip that I liked to be classy at all times and he roared with laughter. I tried not to take it heart. Then we spoke about how wonderfully annoying little sisters are. While my little sister was sat opposite.

Anyway….. the waiter was very fun and I left him a tip of 69p Don’t get offended at the cheapness. 69 was one of the subject matters of the evening so…….

Moving on.

We still had an hour til our film was due to start so we went upstairs in the cinema to grab a starbucks. I do love my starbucks. Anyway, Anna went to get a table and I queued up. The lady in front of me ordered a tea, and when she came to pay for it, it was one pound 85. (My pound sign has decided to give up on me. I bet you are all gutted about that one. Maybe I will use the dollar sign instead but then it would make it a whole different price and no…. No OK . I just won’t go into all of that.)

So she hands the till man over some money and he waits for a while and they stare at each other awkwardly until he says…. I need 25p love. She then realises she handed him a one pound and one of those trolley token things shaped like a pound. So he handed it back to her and she found 60p in her purse and gave him that. I wasn’t being nosey but I could see her purse was completely empty minus the trolley token and she was mortified, then she said that she didn’t have any more and she didn’t have her card on her either.

She only needed 25 p so I dug it out of my purse and handed it to her, the poor woman looked like she was going to cry. She was ever so grateful and said thanks many times. Then when I was being served the till man started congratulating me on being the best person in the world (I know… I know…..) and that he hoped I was proud of being a good person. Then he told his three surrounding starbucks workers the heroic tale of what I had just done and by their faces…. you would have thought I had just cured some terrible disease. Is the world really such a bad place now that most people wouldn’t hand over 25p to a lady who was clearly out of money? I am pretty sure everyone I know would have done the same thing and they ended up telling the whole queue what I did and it was bloody mortifying. Really, it was awful. Not even sure why I am retelling that ….. it really was a ‘Please swallow me up ground’ situation but probably not quite as bad as that time I drooled about Sandy Moffats legs to his face or told Michael Watson that I didn’t have children when I was 12…….

Anna decided to take my picture in Starbucks…. obviously I was a now a national treasure and should be photographed accordingly.


This is my ‘I did it for the people’ pose. I need to practice it for when the press come a knocking. It had been a pretty nice day all round…. but I had no idea that the smile was about to fade…..

Oh my shitting hell you guys.

So ….. Let’s all take a seat and talk about The Theory Of Everything shall we???

If you haven’t seen it…. Go. If you are on the fence and can’t make up your mind…. Go. If you don’t want to see it, I couldn’t give a flying crap…… Go. Seriously.

It was….. It was beautiful. But no. Because it wasn’t. It was hugely depressing and harrowing. And yet it wasn’t. It was uplifting and sunshiney. But it wasn’t because it was awful.

I will give you a brief (history of time…. see what I did there?) OK  That was awful . Back to it…..

The Theory Of Everything is of course…. a film about Stephen Hawking, his rise to fame and the decline of his body due to the awful Motor Neurone Disease.

If Eddie Redmayne doesn’t get the Oscar for his INCREDIBLE portrayal of Stephen Hawking ….. It will be a cruel injustice. It will be on a par with Michael Watson not winning Best Take Over for his role as Frankie Valli in the hugely popular West End production of Jersey Boys…. running at the Piccadilly Theatre. Catch it now and vote!!! (I had to throw it in somewhere, and no … Michael is not paying me for this promotion. He has however, as previously stated in another blog, agreed to more naked pictures if he wins so you know you all have to vote. Also… because he actually deserves it, not just because I want to see his chest again.)

Back to Eddie. Wow. Woah. Hence the name of the post. Fucking amazing. What a talent that boy is. Sure, being a huge Les Mis fan… I already knew it….. but I didn’t know it THAT much. I can’t explain just how good he is. You have to watch the film and see for yourselves. Just thinking back to it now is making me want to sob and run through a field of daisies at the same time. I know nothing about acting…. but I do know that Eddie Redmayne is a hell of a one. The emotions he invoked in me tonight were something else entirely.

And I’m not sure at what point, but somewhere through the film… I wasn’t watching it thinking…. ‘Oh, Eddie is so good…..’ No. I was watching it thinking….. ‘Wow, Stephen Hawking is really an absolutely remarkable man.”

Eddie is that amazing that I believed he was Stephen. It was astonishing.

Felicity Jones as Jane Hawking deserves a mention as well. She was beautiful, elegant and classy. I hope she gets a fair few nods in the awards season.

I’m not here to review the film. I am not a reviewer in any case and I want you…. or even desperately need you to see the magic of that film for yourselves.

When I walked out of that cinema… I didn’t know if I should sob for all eternity or sit and look at the stars in wonder for hours. I didn’t know whether to yell at the world about what a cruel place it is or thank it for the beauty.

It was so deeply and profoundly moving that I can’t begin to cover it. No words will do it justice. You know it’s a hard hitting one when grown men are crying next to you.

As for me…. it took me about 30 minutes before I was in pieces. If only somebody had warned me to save my crying energy for ALL of the film I probably wouldn’t have been so knackered towards the end.

We all know Stephen Hawkings famous quote.

“While there is life, there is hope.”

And really…. I have no more to add. I’m off to think about life and black holes and strong people facing struggles every single day and how I can make the world a better place and how I’m no good at physics but how I will give it a good go. No … wait, actually…. I’m off to sleep.

The profound stuff can wait until tomorrow!!