The Perfect Christmas?

Every year, we all try to have ‘The Perfect Christmas’ . And most of us never get it ‘perfect’ in the way we want it. But nearly always, it turns out perfect due to the imperfections. Oh shit. There I go again, talking a load of nonsense. 

Maybe I should tell you a bit about my Christmas , then you might get what I mean. Or you will be just as puzzled as when you started reading, which is actually usually the case with this blog. 

Flashback to Boxing Day 2012. Me, sitting in the kitchen, frantically scribbling down lists of things that I can improve on for next Christmas, little bits like… buy presents throughout the year rather than make myself broke in December, buy less food so there isn’t so many leftovers, Make sure I have sorted places for all toys to go before the big day and so on.

December 2013 arrives quicker than you can blink and have I done any of those things on that list? Have I heck. In fact, this year, I was probably worse than ever. 


I don’t think I had brought a single gift until around the 10th of December, which is shocking when I have two kids. I kept seeing all these perfect Mums via FB and Twitter saying things in early November like  “So glad all my Christmas shopping is done” and “Just the food to get now” and I was like, woah. Holy crap, how is that possible?!

And rather than clearing spaces in the house for new toys, the house just kept magically filling up with toys I had forgot they even had. 

I am also ‘that’ friend. The crappy one. I started getting beautiful thought out Christmas cards in the post before I had even thought about sending mine out. I did in the end but i left it quite late. And I left it until the 19th to send my best friend who lives 4 hours away her parcel , and she didn’t get it in time for Christmas day which made me feel so sad, but I only had myself to blame.




And my other best friend who arrived in a hurry on Christmas eve, CHRISTMAS EVE, but I hadn’t yet wrapped all of her presents or the box of chocolates for her Mum and Dad. That is how crap I am. 

So anyway, as usual, there were a lot of things I ‘could’ have done and maybe even ‘should’ have done differently, but I wouldn’t change any of the Christmas I just had for the world. Except the parcel thing, (Sorry Ali!! Really, it is your fault, who lives 4 hours away from their best friend?!)


I gave the kids the traditional Christmas Eve pajamas at about 6ish in the evening after they had an early bath. They looked so cute in them , but no, me being me, I forgot to get a picture. Anyway, we had some dinner, the kids were more excited than they have ever been, they are 5 and 7 now and appreciate Christmas a lot more than they did previous years. 

I decided to put my Onesie on, if the kids were comfy in their PJ’s then I should be as well right.? I hadn’t bargained for three different people coming to the door AFTER i had put the onesie on, but still… they got their Christmas treat. I looked amazing obviously. Ahem. 

Of course, after we were all in our PJ’s , Lex reminded me of the fact we still had to sprinkle the reindeer dust in our front garden so Father Christmas , Rudolph and co could see where to land and eat the oats from the reindeer dust or some such story.


I hadn’t really forgot about the bag of Reindeer dust he had brought home from school 6 days earlier that had been shoved in one of their toy boxes ever since, of course I hadn’t! I was just making sure he remembered to tell me. You have to make sure their brains are on top form from a young age! 

So me being the very sensible type decided to just bundle us all up in coats and slippers rather than actually get dressed. It was dark and nobody would see us. 

OK , So a few people saw us, but never mind.

This is where it gets fun. Or not. Lex chucks a handful of reindeer dust (Glitter, oats , other bits I can’t quite remember) and it all floats down on the grass, making the garden look all sparkly and magical. Leona does the same, Lex was very kind and insisted we share the dust.

So then comes my turn. I may have been facing the opposite way to where the kids were, and it may have been a windy night. So what may have happened is that when I threw the glitter and oats, instead of landing on the grass, it flew up viciously into my eyes… and mouth, and some even went up my nose just for added affect. 


The kids found it hysterical of course, until Lex actually considered the fact that Rudolph might land on me because now I was glittery. Leona and Lex threw their last handful, and there were just a few sprinkles left in the bag, so as we walked back to the house, I tipped the bag upside down, which yet again, flew into my face. Not sure what the excuse was this time, Just the universe out to get me I suspect! 

Anyway, I put my glittery, oaty coat and onesie in the wash and changed into banana pajamas ( I know, I get cooler with every paragraph.) , then we laid out a mince pie for Father Christmas (brought especially for this because none of us like mince pies) ((yes, this ties in with the bit about leftover food, told you I never go ahead with the lists)), and a glass of milk and a carrot for Rudolph even though I said to the kids we were spoiling Rudolph what with the Reindeer dust and Carrot, to which they pointed out I had more dust on me than in the garden so he had to have both. Fair point. 


Then off they toddled excitedly to bed. It is also a tradition in this house to clang an old bell that has been passed down about half an hour after they go up. The bell gets clanged, then I shout …”Did you hear that, that is the sleigh bells. It means he is near, get to sleep.” I am being serious when I say it totally works. Every time. Excited chatter for half hour, then the bell comes and it is a race to fall asleep. 

I mean, obviously the fact Lex woke up at 11pm and then didn’t get back to sleep for an hour is not relevant to the story. Nor is the fact that Leona done the same trick at 3am. 


At half 5 , I awoke very hazily to “Happy Christmas Mummy, I wonder if Father Christmas has been?” I had no idea , I told them. And none of us would be finding out until 6 o clock. I flat out refused to get out of bed before 6am. I know. Evil Mummy. It was Christmas morning after all. And OK , I admit defeat, I should have just got out of bed at half 5 because that was the longest half hour ever. But it was special. They sat on my bed just whispering to each other. 

“Yona, (Lex’s baby name for Leona that he never bothered to change), Do you think I was good enough this year to get presents?”

“I think so Lex, but there was that time you stole my sweet from me so he probably saw that.”

“So he might not have brought me anything?”

“He probably has, he has probably just not brought the main thing you wanted. “

Gotta love the chatter between kids. Leona seems to forget the sweets she has taken from her brother during the year , but never mind about that. 


6am hits and we all go downstairs. I have to say that honestly, my kids are so polite, they are grateful and thankful, they will kiss you and hug you and write Father Christmas thank you notes…. but it was hysterical seeing Lex’s face as he opened the gifts from his stocking.

Leona was very impressed with hers… One Direction movie, score! One Direction nail polish, get in! Crap load of chocolate, yes! Then Lex’s was going good…. Despicable me 2, Awesome! A load of chocolate, wonderful! Moshi Monsters… Yay!

Then he unwraps Oliver. As in the very old musical film Oliver. His face was a picture. He looks at me ever so baffled. “Ah, Father Christmas has given me erm… urmm… aaaa… ermm”  Me. “Why don’t you try sounding it out?” Lex “O   LEEE VAAAA.” Me.” Yes, Oliver, it’s a film with lots of songs in it.” Lex “Oh. Well that is nice of him to bring me that. I have never heard of it. And I won’t watch it today. Maybe I will watch it when I am 6 or something. But it’s nice of him anyway.”



Brilliant reaction. And I will point out two things… 1: Yes, maybe I wanted the film as it is a favourite. and 2: He watched it on Boxing Day and LOVED it!! Wohooo!

Then came all the main gifts, squeals of delight, hugs, giggles, paper everywhere!! We have a huge family and the kids were thoroughly spoilt this year, so thank you to everyone! 

I am not too proud to admit that I kept all the wrapping paper on the floor a few hours longer than I should have. It’s fun walking across it, falling over it and losing stuff underneath it. 

There was one moment, Leona had been given a red ‘Harry Styles Loves Me’ purse , and most of the wrapping paper happened to be red, so when I did clear it all up, I sort of accidentally threw the purse away. It had 5 pounds in. A huge amount of money for a 7 year old. So yes, I did spend 20 minutes of my Christmas morning hunting through the bins in search of a tiny purse. 

It was found. All was good. It was one of those imperfections that made the whole thing perfect. 

Christmas is a funny day though ain’t it? You can eat junk all day, you play weird as hell games like blow football and something about a cow pooing , you have a paper crown on your head through an immense dinner, you can start drinking at whatever time of the day you want, you listen to the Queen for the first time in a year…. all because it is Christmas! 

The day was honestly brilliant. It wasn’t stressful. It wasn’t a chore. It was good fun. I will never forget the magic on the kids faces with each present they opened. And with Leona now being 7 , I will be lucky if I get even one more year of her believing in Father Christmas the way she does now. So i have to remember every little detail. 

As soon as they got to bed that night, they were in dream land. They were asleep in 5 seconds flat!! 

On boxing day, I didn’t make any lists like I usually do. Why would I want to make Christmas perfect? I still have toys all across the front room. And hall way. And maybe even kitchen right now. I have an overflowing recycling bin of wrapping paper. I have cupboards and a fridge stacked high with party food still (Always New Years Eve to try and use some up!) and I have a happy heart! 

It has been amazing, and even though Hugh Jackman wasn’t under my tree this year, It’s OK . Because I got a series of Goosebumps books . Boom. Among other bits and bobs that I thank you all for. But most of all, I got memories! 


So yeah, I had a the perfect Christmas for sure. 


P.S . This was the scary as hell cracker toy I got. Nightmarish. Who needs Goosebumps books with this?! 


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Inventing the world that's passing by.

One thought on “The Perfect Christmas?”

  1. I was basically just brushing my teeth while I read this and I’m not gonna lie: I didn’t spit out for about 5 mins because I wanted to finish reading this first.
    Absolutely love everything about it, thank you for your lovely insight in your little family’s christmas celebrations…and finally we all have the explanation why you keep having One Direction songs stuck in your head. Congratulations, Lauralee, you’re not insane, beautiful Leona just hasn’t yet understood what real good music is. But with time and a rock mummy like you, she will.
    P.S. Thank you, now I want to see “Oliver” too. I totally blame you. In a good way.

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