Pretty sure you are all blown away by the title of this post. You should be. I am quite the Jean -ee -us. What do you mean that’s not how you spell it? Anyway….
I would genuinely like to write a blog some day that actually has something of importance, but until then, you all have to make do with this.
Spotty update = Lex still remains off school, but SHOULD be going back tomorrow. He is fine in himself, but the rules clearly state to not send them back if the spots aren’t all crusted over, and he is not at that stage just yet, although he is pretty darn close. (You probably shouldn’t be eating if you are reading this, crusty spots are not the best thing to imagine while stuffing your face.)
He has had mixed reviews about this.
“I can’t wait to see all my friends and tell them how disgusting I looked.”
“But my teachers don’t let me watch Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (again and again and again) when I’m at school.”
“I’ve missed all my friends.”
“What if my friends don’t talk to me because they think I’m a chicken monster or something?”
As I write this, I thought he was reading one of his books. He was, but he just stopped half way through, to answer his fake phone.
“Hello best friend. Yeah I’m really sorry about that. Of course you will be invited to my party. I said I’m sorry. Yeah. Ok . See you in October. I hanging up now.”
Just heard the phone thud on the floor. The blog is on pause while I speak to him. I just told him that even though his birthday is in October, he will be seeing his best friend tomorrow, at school. He literally rolled his eyes. A five year old, rolling their eyes!
“I know Mum, it was pretend !”
“Oh. What did you say you were sorry about?”
“Because last time we were at school, Yona made the power rangers come to the playground, and one of them tried to steal best friend and me, so I had to say sorry because he got scared.”
“Ah. I see. But wait, aren’t the power rangers meant to be good? Don’t they fight bad guys?”
Rolls his eyes again.
“Yeah, but Yona told them we were bad guys, and they believed her, and then there was a bomb and we all had to run but the power rangers kept trying to take us anyway, so I just got out my light sabre but then it turned the world red and it confused the power rangers and then Yona realised so she told them all to go away and said not to take us apart from then Yona was a power ranger but she was the yellow one and then the ninja turtles appeared.”
“Oh. So this was a dream.”
“No! It’s pretend. Real pretend.”
So that conversation just happened and I am confused, but I should really get back to the blog now.
Leona still has no spots. It’s like waiting for a prize that you really don’t want. It’s like being on an 80’s gameshow, and what you actually want is that awesome looking five star holiday, but you just won a tool kit instead. But it doesn’t matter because you still want it, even if you know it’s crap.
Leona has also been on at me to let her join a dance class. I’m thinking about it. She wanted to prove to me that she could do it, so decided to convince me with FIVE sets of EIGHT dance moves. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that each set looked exactly the same. Exactly. It sort of went….
Punch your right fist
Punch your left fist
Tip your head right
Tip your head left
Kick your right leg
Kick your left leg
Hand on right hip.
Hand on left hip.
She repeated this four more times just in slightly different orders. I like her doing after school clubs and stuff like that, I am just taking my time with this one as it is a good half hour walk away twice a week after school, so I am worried about how tired she will be. Every other club she has done has been at the school, so I will think about it.
And of course I told her that her dance moves were ace, I didn’t have the heart to tell her they were all the same.
She also told me what she wanted to do when she is older.
“When I grow up, I’m going to be famous.”
I grimaced at this news.
“Oooo, As much as I will support you for whatever you want to do, You shouldn’t just want to be famous for being famous. Like, if you wanted to play in a band and then got famous, that’s OK , or if you wanted to be a really good dancer and got famous for it, that’s good also. You need to have a talent, you can’t just want to be famous.”
She looks baffled at this news.
“What? I don’t want to do any of that. I’m going to be a famous vet looking after all the animals.”
My heart nearly burst with pride at this news. Proud did not cover it. I don’t think there are famous vets unless somebody like Steve Irwin counted but you know, it’s a nice thing to aim for.
“People will think I am kind if I look after dead animals.”
“You don’t really look after dead animals if you are a vet though hun…. because they are… well, dead.”
“Then I can be a new type of vet that takes care of dead animals.”
I can’t help but agree that she probably would get famous for ‘looking after’ dead things.
Anyway, in other news, Glee returns this month. And Darren criss is looking fucking amazing.
Lea Michele releases her book in a few months, and this is the cover.
She looks incredible.
Also, I have Derren Brown this month which I am shit scared about. Maybe it’s a good thing though, maybe he will hypnotize me to have a personality or something. We can only hope.
So… that just about covers everything. Hope you found that as pointless as I did!