My son is a complete little ray of sunshine. He is serious, he’s a goofball, he’s handsome, he’s smart, he’s kind, he’s loving, he’s boyish and he is the most beautiful little boy the world has ever seen.
He has never hurt anyone intentionally, he still get’s upset when we tell the story of why Leona has a scar on her cheek. He was not even two, and they were both looking out of the window , waiting for a visit from some relatives. When they finally saw the car pull up outside, they both got excited and started jumping up and down. Lex accidentally scratched Leona’s cheek in excitement, and that is the extent of his violence!
Don’t get me wrong, he has had moments, he has had tantrums… who hasn’t? But he really is a good, sweet little boy with a huge heart.
This weekend, he was invited to a disco birthday from a sweet little boy in his class. The parents had kindly extended the invite to siblings, so Leona got to go as well. Lex had been excited for this party for ages and was counting down the days.
When we arrived, I decided to stay and have a coffee with some other parents as the kids danced and played party games. The DJ was so fab (so good in fact that I am thinking of hiring him for any future parties I might hold for my two), the kids were really into it, everyone in the hall seemed to be having a grand old time.
Then it came time to play Musical Chairs (If anybody from my facebook happens to be reading this , sorry for rant number two!)
The DJ lined up all the chairs down the hall, and told each kid taking part to sit on one. Leona was way down at the other end and I couldn’t really see her, but Lex had wound up in front of me. As all the kids sat there, listening to the DJ explain the rules, the boy next to Lex tapped him on the shoulder. I vaguely recognised the boy from Lex’s class and had noticed that Lex hadn’t said one word to him during the disco, but I didn’t really think much of it.
Then I watched as Lex looked at him to see what he wanted, and this boy, first stuck one middle finger up, then stuck both of them up in Lex’s face and started waving them around. My jaw was already on the floor at how vile he was being, He is FIVE. How do five year olds know this stuff? I’m not going to pretend my kids don’t know what a swear is , because they do. They always tell me if a kid says a naughty word at school, but they never do it themselves. And they never say the word. In fact, they always go red if they have to say someone got told off for saying a naughty word , because they know it’s a horrible thing to do. So Lex knew he was being rude, and looked away from him to look at me.
I stood up, ready to make Lex switch chairs, there was no way I was going to let him be near this little brat, honestly, the venom in the kids face as he done it was what actually shocked me more. Anyway, I stood up and started walking over, just in time to see this kid smack Lex across the face as hard as he could.
What the fuck? (Ooops, I just said a naughty word.)
I can’t begin to tell you how angry I was at that moment. My son had jut been slapped. For reasons only the brat knew I suppose.
I ran over, Lex was crying (Which if anyone knows Lex, is pretty damn rare, he is not a crier) . I grabbed him into my arms, then looked at the smirking boy.
I shouted so the hall could hear me.
“Don’t you dare hit my son.”
Yes, that is all I said. Looking at it now, it seems so underwhelming. It seems ridiculous that after witnessing the brat hit my son as hard as he could, they were the only words I could muster. The thing is, I was so angry at that moment, you wouldn’t believe. I was angrier than I had been in a long, long time.
But because of the way the world is nowadays, I have no right to really tell the boy off. He’s not mine. (If he was mine, he wouldn’t be hitting innocent kids in the first place.) I wanted to. I wanted to shout at him more than I had ever shouted at anyone in my life.
I carried Lex over to the parents I had just been sitting with, who had witnessed what just happened, and I was going mad. I was shaking, trying to calm Lex down, and asking where the parents of this boy were. I was informed the parents had dropped him off and left him.
Lex wasn’t going to let it completely ruin the day so he ran down to join Leona at her chair and played the game with her. She held his hand throughout the game having heard about what happened and didn’t let him out of her sight for the rest of the party.
The party only had ten minutes left, and I had a choice. Walk away and say nothing, or have a showdown with the parents. I walked away. And I don’t regret it. Because now I know the name of the kid, I am going into school tomorrow to tell the teacher that I don’t want him anywhere near my son (don’t get me wrong, I know that for once, this didn’t happen under the schools watch, but never the less, I do not want Lex near him at any time). I am also going to request a meeting with the parents through the school, and if they accept, I am going to tell them in a controlled environment that they are doing a rotten job of bringing up their son, and that should be deeply , DEEPLY ashamed. I am going to look them in the eye as I tell them how their son hit mine for no reason, swore at him, and worst of all, looked at him with such hatred it scared me. And I am going to watch them squirm. That is a better revenge.
I know the person I am, and I know that if I had stayed that day until the parents arrived, I probably would have acted in a way I later would have regret. I’m not a violent person in any way, so I wouldn’t have bitch slapped the Mum to give them a taste of their own medicine, but I would have got worked up, which in turn would have lead to Lex and Leona getting scared at the confrontation and I would never want that. Like I said above, the sweetest revenge will be watching their faces while I tell them that so far, they have failed in parenting.
Kids fight all the time, they get into arguments and squabbles, they fall out, and in some cases , they hurt each other if there is a reason(Not that there is ever really a reason, but you know, I can understand to a point if a kid has been being picked on all day and then turns around and smacks him one, it’s a reason in their head, ya know?) But to have a child go round being that venomous to people for no reason whatsoever? That, is a fail in the parenting books and I will not change my mind on that.
I got a glimpse of what everyday at school is like for Lex. He gets his head down, he works, he’s polite, he’s friendly , and he gets hurt by boys who go round hurting people for the sake of it. There are two boys (Now three with disco brat) that the teachers just can not seem to control, but now I am here to fight. I am here to fight for the right to (no, not party) … make sure my kid is safe at school. Safe from fists and poison.
I’m not completely stupid, I know that children have to stand on their own two feet. I know that one day they will learn of swear words, and evils and horrible things. But right now? Right now, My son is five. He likes cars and power rangers and the lovable snowman from Frozen. Five years old is no age to be bullied. It shouldn’t happen at any age , let alone five. And my girl, luckily, she doesn’t have trouble at school. It’s how it should be. She often gets ignored by teachers because they are too busy seeing to the disruptive kids, and that is not right, but she is doing OK . She loves princesses , and Queen Elsa, and One Direction, and she is seven. They shouldn’t have any worries at this age.
On a less angry note, John Green has done it again. After finishing The Never List by some author I can’t remember at this point, which I was very underwhelmed with , I am thrilled that I am currently reading a book I can’t put down.
Paper Towns by John Green (the guy who is responsible for writing possibly my all time favourite book, The Fault In Our Stars) is brilliant so far. I am half way through, and I love his no nonsense writing style. He doesn’t really bother to pretty things up, and that is why I like him. Not everything has to be described as a magical world where anything can happen and clouds speak and you have unicorns as pets and you can fly and…. well, you get the picture. That was not even a dig at Harry Potter. I fucking love Harry Freaking Potter. Both the actual version and the Darren Criss version.
I have another book to read of his called Will Grayson, Will Grayson, and then I plan on buying the other two published books to complete my John Green collection, who is fast becoming a favourite author.
And on the book subject , my daughter who thinks Roald Dahl is the best thing since erm… Harry Styles… fell asleep with The Twits covering her face tonight. It genuinely happened and I wish I had got a picture. I just walked in, and the book was over her face, open on the page she had obviously been reading. Like Mother , Like Daughter. No pictures of that, so these will have to do.
Ignore the cross eyed Leona, none of us were expecting the blinding flash that happened!