And There He Was….

I don’t know if any of you have heard, but right now, I have a sick bug. It may come as a surprise to many of you, I haven’t complained about it at all! At…. all.

Blegh. Ugh. Meh. Ughhhhhh. Aghhhhh. AAAAAA. Puke. Gag. And all nice things.

So basically, Leona came home from school Wednesday and started projectile vomiting. Picture it. Nice. I had to go out that evening and I was freaking out. I don’t mean out somewhere nice, oh no, I mean ‘work’ sort of out. Of course I didn’t want to leave her. I even nearly didn’t go. In the end , I decided I had to. The puking had sort of calmed down and she had a bit of colour back.

I got through two complete waste of time hours when all I wanted was to be at home with Sicky McSickison, and then I had to get a bus home. It was around 7ish – 8ish. I started feeling a bit odd on the bus. I only had a few stops to go but I couldn’t make it. I got off before I was anywhere where I needed to be, then puked up in the dark, on the street. Let’s not even go there. Mortifying does not even cover how horrible it was . Nothing does.

So obviously it was a pretty quick catching bug that’s for sure. Anyway, I will try and keep all of this short because I need to talk about what happened this afternoon, not Wednesday.

I called a taxi up after I had done the ‘we shall never speak of it again thing’ … knowing that I was too weak to walk and the taxi would only take 15 minutes. Luckily, I made it home without having to pay a hefty reward for throwing up in the car.

I spent all of that night awake, shivering, hot, cold, puking, sick, aching, tummy aches, head aches…. and just everything really. Seriously guys, it was icky. To make everything more perfect, Thursday was supposed to be the day I got to see Ali again. We were off to see I Can’t Sing, and would be meeting Elaine and Gemma (absolutely lovely twitter people who loved Rock Of Ages) for the first time. I was so excited about it, but these things always happen at the worst time. For example, last time Leona had a sickness bug, was on my birthday. I spent the day cleaning up puke and stuff. It was not making me want to eat cake.

Anyway, obviously I was disappointed about it and worried about Leona and feeling awful myself. The kids Dad took Lex to school , and as someone pointed out then ….”I thought something was wrong, he has never taken them to school!” ….

Anyway, I spent the day napping, puking, being a bit of a moany bitch on twitter and facebook. OK , a lot of a moany bitch…. and just generally being unwell.

(Oh , I will say actually, that I was very touched to see how many people actually wished me better and were gutted for me about London, that is a very sweet thing to see and sometimes, it shows who cares. Even if I didn’t reply to you all because my eyes were fuzzy, it meant a lot!)

This pattern of feeling awful carried on, and I finally got into a bit of a settled sleep sometime this morning.

Life of course goes on, and I couldn’t expect the kids Dad to take Lex to school again (Leona has to be off for 48 hours due to sickness, school rules, she’s fine today) , I mean he already done it once. Once since they both started. And that is just you know…. a crazy thing to ask a Dad to do . (Please detect my sarcasm.)

So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed at around half 7 , which is bad for me as I am usually up at half 6, and got Lex ready for his sports relief day at school.

As to be expected I felt weak, dizzy and sick. A lot better than yesterday but still blegh. I got little man to school, came back home, and wrote a bunch to take my mind of Pukesville.

At around two , I had to go pick up a prescription for my Dad. I always do it for him, he has to have a lot of medicine and I am able to get it better than him. My sister watched Leona for an hour (She offered to get the prescriptions but I stupidly thought Fresh Air would do me good.)

And off I went.

The sun was out, but I was freezing. I realised I had a temperature again.

I had a really thick blue jumper on and still wasn’t warm enough. My hair was down, but not in a nice way , just in a general, ‘I’ve been ill and can’t be bothered to look like a normal human being’ kind of way. I had no make up, red cheeks due to temperature, and the rest of me looked pale as Casper. I bet you are all turned on. Ahem.

The further I got along to the chemist (20 minute walk) … the worse I felt. I hadn’t puked since last night and I kept thinking… I’m going to puke on the street again. I then got really hot and was so hot I thought about walking along in my bra. (I would have , but honestly, I didn’t want to have to deal with proposals today.) And then I got cold again and thought I was in the antarctic. All in the space of a short walk.

As I neared the chemist, this very elderly lady was then going in. She had a walker and was trying and failing miserably to open the door. I ran up, opening it for her. I shouldn’t have ran. When I got into the chemist, I let the lady go first because obviously she had been in front of me anyway, and I sat on one of the empty chairs , trying not to faint. I felt like I was going to pass out at any moment.

The chemist was empty apart from me and the elderly lady, and I felt awful as I listened to her saying how she’s struggled to walk here from **** road. I know where that road is and it’s quite a trek. I knew I needed to pull myself together but I was on the cusp of puking or fainting and I couldn’t stop shaking.

I put my head in my knees and started taking deep breaths . I know I sound dramatic but I have fainted before when I was ill and I kept thinking…. ‘But I need to get Lex from School , I can’t faint now’ So I was freaking out.

Then a voice.

“Are you OK Miss?”

It wasn’t the elderly lady because the elderly lady was indeed an elderly lady and not a man.

And this is where I link an old blog post of mine.  Anyone remember this one?

It couldn’t be that guy could it? No way , that would be too weird…. well, it was.

It was the Darren Criss lookalike.

I looked up still shaking like a leaf and let’s face it, pretty much hyperventilating, and he was just there, above me, like a Darren Criss angel . In a white coat. That’s right people, he wasn’t just some random passer by who happened to be in the same place as me again. Oh no, he was the friggin Pharmacist.

Just to give you all a memory, it is this picture he reminds me of the most….. only with blue eyes, straighter hair,and a white coat.


And he totally had the stubble thing going on.  And glasses. He had glasses.

I nodded, and I couldn’t really do anything else because I thought I would puke, over his shoes. Mind you, fainting on the other hand, would have worked out OK because he would have given me the kiss of life… obviously.

“You look like you need a glass of water? Do you need a glass of water? I’ll fetch you a glass of water”

He walked off, and I desperately tried to get my shit together. This was probably the most embarrassing experience of my life to date, and I have had a fair few.

He came back and handed me a plastic cup of water. My hands were still shaking. I stood up and he told me to sit back down for a minute. And then, I cemented my reputation for being the most cringeworthy person on the earth.

“I wouldn’t come so close. I’ve been chucking my guts up the last few days.”

He didn’t say anything, so I carried on.

“Sick bug.”

All the while, I was thinking in my head, this can’t be happening, this is not happening….. kill me now!

He laughed.

“I’m a pharmacist, I encounter ill people daily.”

As if things couldn’t get any worse for me right now.

“That would be a job from hell for me.”

Nice one Laura, tell Mcdreamy his job is awful even though it is in fact, a sought after and respected job. That will endear him to you.

“It was my idea of hell too which is why I done it. Face the germs, get them out of the way. Sip your water while I see to Mrs Phelps.”

He went off to the counter and served the elderly lady, while I sat there trying to dig a hole in the carpet with my feet so I could crawl under and never come back. Mrs Phelps grabbed her bag of pills, actually patted me on the head, genuinely and walked out.

McHotStuff came back.

“I’m here to pick up a prescription for Mr my Dad… *Obviously I didn’t say that, I said his actual name*

He nodded, ran back to get it and came back over , asking the address and such. He gave me the bag and took the cup of water.

“Did you eat that chocolate?”

Yep, he remembers as the girl with about eight chocolate bars in her hands. Oh well, at least now he will remember me as the chocolate hogger/ puker …. A lovely thing to be known as.

“Not all of it. Well, not in one day. It took me a while … ”


“Uh huh. Well I recommend you go home, rest, drink fluids and when you feel better eat more chocolate.”

“OK….. ” (I was so tempted to say ‘OK, you huge hunk of white jacket manliness, but I didn’t. I kept my cool )

Instead of walking away like any normal person would after they had just told a gorgeous guy they were infected with sick germs and that his job was awful, I stayed for a minute longer. Don’t judge me. The chemist was empty and I am still hoping to get my romantic movie ending…. He’s out of my league, but DUDES, that is the whole point in movies.

“Where’s Sue? I have never seen you in here before.”

“Ironically enough, Sue is off with a sickness bug. I’m usually out the back. Short staffed today.”

Oh my sweet goodness he actually works here all the time. Wow.

“Ah. OK . Well give her my regards when she comes back.” (There are two things wrong with this, only morons say regards, and he doesn’t have a fudging clue who I am…… ‘Oh Sue, some girl who picks things up for her Dad in here, who has a liking for chocolate and sick bugs and insulting me and looks rough as shit gives her regards……’ Fucking idiot.)

“Yes. Hope you feel better soon. Take it slow on the way back.”

With that, a dashing smile and back over the counter he goes. I call out ‘Thanks’ , My cheeks red now with the combination of being poorly and being a complete and utter lunatic, I walked out.

When I got home, I felt just as bad as when I had first walked into the chemist, but like a hero ….(Yeah, that’s right….) I went and collected Lex from school!


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Inventing the world that's passing by.

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