*Warning – Contains embarrassing moments, but it’s OK , because they are only embarrassing for me*
You know how you get those charity people in all town’s that just stand there and try but fail miserably to stop people? Well this morning, I was on my way to work. And I was walking through town. I saw a guy in a blue charity jacket, stopping people, or trying. Anyway, I only had ten minutes to get to work, I was only five minutes away but still… I had no time.
This guy was gorgeous. I know I fancy all breeds of men (Yes, breeds…) But he was cute. He had the tall, dark and handsome thing going on. So he tries to stop me.
“Excuse me madam…. could I just……?”
“No , sorry, I have to get to work.”
“it really won’t take that long, It’s just really a quick…..”
“Sorry, but I really have to go.”
So of course he takes that as his cue to stand in front of me and block my path. I stopped, simply because I’m shallow and he’s fit.
“Where do you work?”
“Oh. Well , I can’t tell you , sorry.”
“You’re name badge says you work at *insert well known retail and beauty brand here*….. and your name is Laura.”
Stupid fucking name badge, always there to out me. And I am usually wearing a coat or something so nobody sees my name badge, but not today.
“Yes. That’s correct. And I really have to go now so….”
“I just need to ask you a really quick question.”
People,this guy was really cute. And I am a sucker for a cheeky smile.
“Fine. Quick then.”
I genuinely nearly spat my starbucks coffee out when he spoke next and that would be a hate crime to waste coffee…… Honestly. It was so , SO awful. It made me cough, which in turn made me look like an idiot.
“What’s your number?”
*cough … splutter…. what the fuck….. am I still asleep…..*
He looks at his clipboard and then tells me something I kinda already knew.
“Yeah, we’re not really supposed to ask that.”
No, you don’t say?!
“Oh. Erm. OK” *laughs nervously because I am the Queen of cool.*
“Have a good day at work, might have to pop in later.”
Holy shit, please don’t. This is humiliating enough. But I still add to my pain…. even though the ground is refusing to swallow me up.
“So you aren’t actually going to ask me anything then?”
“I just did.”
“About the charity?”
“Oh. No. See ya.”
And that was that. One of the strangest charity encounters I have ever had. And if you would all like to know, he didn’t ‘pop’ in. But he did walk past. Which made me shut the till on my hand.
And I didn’t tell this story for anyone to take it seriously, I am highly assuming it’s a weird joke. I think I will be on one of those hidden camera shows. So you can all tune in then.
The humiliation wasn’t quite over. Let’s talk about serving customers that are complete and utter sex Gods in suits shall we? So usually, I can handle it, I haven’t managed to lose it in front of any customer just yet. This tall dude walked in wearing a brown suit, sounds weird but it worked. And he had the stubble thing going on. My workmate on the till next to me started nudging me frantically….. “Oh look, a hottie ….. ” (See, It’s not just me that drools over men!!)
I got to serve him. Lucky me. Apart from I made a complete and utter tit of myself. He only came in to buy a drink. We have to ask everyone if they would like a bag, so as he puts his drink on the counter, I say…..
“Would you like a drink?”
I realised my mistake straight away, after my cheeks had went bright red.
“Uh… sorry, I meant would you like a bag?”
He started laughing AND THEN SAID…..
“We can go out for a drink if you want”
Everyone including my work mate and the line of people started laughing and I dropped his change while giving it to him.
I apologised twice for the mistake, and he was very sweet and said it’s fine and not to worry. But honestly, I was not asking the dude out for a drink. Why does this stuff happen to me?!
I am convinced that the whole world is in on some weird hot dude joke today. What just happened? Seriously….. What????