On a daily basis, I have one of those little ‘lost in another world’ fantasies and dream of all the things I would do or have if I could. They range from being able to eat a years supply of pizza and/or chocolate in a week with no health effects or weight gain to literally making the world a better place. I know, I like to think big.
If we are all being honest with ourselves, we would like to change some things. Even if it is the smallest detail. Somebody could be quite comfortable with their job, money and house but may wish desperately to change something about their appearance. Someone else may have all the luck with love and look gorgeous but have a completely unsatisfying and boring job that they never wanted to do. Somebody else might be truly beautiful on the outside but wish they had a better personality to match……you can probably see where I am going with this.
We would all like to change something, and I have to be honest….there are many days where I sit, staring wistfully out of my window (as I am cleaning it, probably) pretending that I am in some sad music video wishing that I was being whisked away to be married to Hugh Jackman….or Ryan Reynolds…. or fifty percent of the leading West End men….. and after our wedding we will of course decorate our newly custom built house from scratch while the Littles run around at my feet all giddy.
Throw in a fantasy here and there about winning a million on the lotto and finding cures for nasty illnesses, making sure animals don’t suffer and stopping wars and hunger….you know, all easy stuff…..all these dreams and fantasies are a nice little get away. They are a nice ‘What If’ .
But just because I have those little moments does not mean in any way that I am unhappy with what I have. I know what I am, I know who I am. I know what I have, I like what I have. But most of all, I am appreciative of what is in my life right now. And as I got lost in a beautiful dream where Hugh and I lived in a castle and I happened to look like a supermodel….. I also started to think about my life right now. About the things I wouldn’t change.
I mean, it goes without saying but I wouldn’t change my Littles. I am sure that is very obvious and probably something a parent doesn’t need to state but still. I wouldn’t change a hair on their head. I wouldn’t change their kind souls or gorgeous funny natures. I wouldn’t change them full stop.
Of course, that is probably a cop out. A reader could point out that the Littles are not me, therefore it’s a silly thing to say. But they are a part of me. So it counts.
Currently, I wouldn’t change my work. And that feels amazing to say after such a rocky year career wise. I have found it hard this year to settle into a job that suits me and the kids where I get paid enough, do enough hours and feel at ease. I feel that my job life has come full circle and landed at a peaceful little spot where I am in fact following in my nannas footsteps. And that is comforting, it is a thing I wouldn’t change.
I know some of you are probably screaming at me to talk about health. But I a teeny bit superstitious and wouldn’t want to jinx anything.
Personality wise could be a struggle. I suppose I never get rid of the idea that I fall short of being a decent person and there is always the thought in my mind that I could be doing better. I don’t know if it’s the Virgo in me but I pick myself apart. I am the type of person to sit here and list all the things that are wrong with me, but for once, this topic is not allowing me to do that. It wants me to do the opposite.
I wouldn’t change my ability to put on a face, any face, despite being a nervous wreck inside. Send me in to a room with a bunch of scary looking business dudes and I could probably talk my way out of it ensuring I leave as quickly as possible despite my legs being jelly. I’m a talker. I talk when I get nervous and actually, I wouldn’t change it because it has helped me out. People think I am more confident than what I am. They would laugh if they knew what was really going on inside my head.
I wouldn’t change my need to stick up for the under dog or a person who is being singled out and bullied. Whether it’s in the work place or watching a TV show, I will say if somethings not right and if I think a person is being targeted. I don’t stand for bullying of any type. The bigger a gang is that is turning on someone, the bigger my temper will get. People are like sheep. There may be some in the crowd who really don’t want to round on the person, but feel they have to because everyone else is. I would never feel that pressure. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Simple. If my best friend actively dislikes someone, it doesn’t mean I will.
I wouldn’t change the way I am as a Mother. It seems to have gotten us this far. Come back to me when we reach the teenage years…………
The physical aspect is a funny one isn’t it? Anyone that knows me will be quick to learn that I am the first person to put myself down. It’s a combination of what I think is humour and truth. In reality, it’s not actually funny and I must stop it.
So let’s just go with, I am pretty much always OK with my hair, whatever the length or colour and my legs never seem to gain weight. Maybe they could have a word with my stomach and hips. That would be great.
When you start looking at your life in detail, it is easy to get carried away with what you would change. But when you really strip it down and question every aspect, you will learn there is so much that you wouldn’t change.
And it sets you up with a happy, positive mindset for the next day. I would love to hear in the comments what you wouldn’t change about yourself.
The fun blog I mentioned is still coming. This particular part is going to be a weekly thing. If you would like to be a part of it, leave me a comment and I will get back to you letting you know what’s in store.
Thanks for reading!! x