A-Z Of Parenting

A – Always be prepared to be unprepared for everything. You might think that you have thought of every eventuality and things that could happen but you are wrong. Like when I took a toddler and an eight month old on a caravan holiday and packed my whole house. I didn’t actually need anything I had with me, but I did need everything that I didn’t have.


B – Bring food. Anywhere you go. Anywhere you don’t go. Littles get hungry. Bring snacks. Bring sweets. Bring fruit. Bring three course meals. If you forget. the children will never let you forget.


C – Collect every single bit of parenting information you possibly can from family, friends, books, TV, the internet and movies. It is important that you jot things down and ask opinions. When you have collected enough information, completely disregard everything you have learnt or been advised because you know best.


D – Deny everything. This applies to most things in parenting. From Littles asking if you have seen the last of their Easter chocolate (which accidentally ended up in my belly) to asking if you have seen their most favourite, noisy, headache inducing toy (behind the sofa, batteries removed). When they do the big, sad puppy dog eyes it gets hard, but just deny. Stay strong. It’s the only way to keep sanity in tack.


E – Excitement. Being excited that every single day, you get to wake up to their faces. Being excited for them when they are excited. Being excited at seeing them open Christmas and Birthday presents. Being so excited in general about life with the Littles that people wonder who is the actual kid.


F – Forgetting. Similar to denying but not quite the same. This means forgetting about school trips and birthday invites. Forgetting that you promised they could have a friend round after school. Forgetting your own name sometimes because you know….you’re a parent. Forgetting there is a huge baking day at school that you have to make cakes for. Just forgetting.


G – Growing. And boy do they grow. No sooner have you got them a new pair of shoes, they need a bigger size. Growing in personality. Growing into themselves. A growing appetite. Growing up and learning what life is all about.

H – Hearing your name, your name ‘Mum’ being said over and over again and tearing up that you got so lucky.

Hearing your name, your name ‘Mum’ being said over and over again because the kids are bickering and telling tales and demanding and asking and pleading and wanting your attention and wondering if they were born with a mute button. Wondering if you should change your name by deedpoll to ‘Mum’. Or Princess Consueila Banana Hammock.


I – Intuition. Knowing that your gut feeling is right. Always.


J – Just five more minutes. Whether it’s the kids asking for ‘Just five more minutes’ or you telling the kids they have ‘Just five more minutes’ ……it happens everyday. JFMM at the park, JFMM before bed, JFMM playing on the game, JFMM until dinner. Using it so much that you start to use abbreviated versions for silly internet blog posts that make no sense and nobody reads.


K- Knowledge. Knowledge is power, and most of the time, when it comes to kids….you probably don’t know anything. But still being blissfully happy anyway.


L – Love.

M – Mess. Making a mess, everywhere. Forever. But who needs a clean home? Or clothes? Or you know….Who even needs a clean child? Not I. What’s a little mess here and there?


N- No. You will hear this multiple times a day. From yourself and the children. You will also see this face on a regular basis because of the word NO.


O – Oranges and lemons, Humpty dumpty, Twinkle star. ABC, Cbeebies. CBBC …Justin Frickin Bieber??? Your Littles will start out singing nursery rhymes then move on to songs they learnt at school. And all of a sudden they will be ten and dancing around to Justin Bieber and Little Mix.


P – Pictures, and lots of them. My absolute favourite thing about how far technology has come and the social media aspect of our lives, they are always there to look back on.

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Q – Questioning from the world and his wife about what you do as a parent. It’s OK to have questions. It’s OK to answer or not answer the questions. Just try not to question yourself, because you are probably getting along just fine.


R – Rushing. Being in such a rush that you are barely noticing how much the years are rushing by. Then becoming an emotional mess while looking at old photo albums and singing All By Myself into tissues because you are imagining when they are grown up and living somewhere else.


S – Surprise!! Being constantly surprised. Being surprised that your Little started walking. Being Surprised that your Little lost a tooth. Being surprised that your Little got an A* report even though you know they are great kids. Being surprised your little fell over and bumped a head. Being surprised that all three of you are actually doing OK because you never thought you could come this far.

T – Trouble sleeping. You. Them. Forever. Well, at least for eighteen years or so.


U – Unbelievable fun, memories and laughter.


V – Volume. With kids, it’s like the TV remote is permanently  turned up to full. And what’s not love about that? Apart from the earaches. And headaches. But you know…..


W – Worth it. Wouldn’t change a damn thing.


X -X’s  O’s X’s O’s Noughts and Crosses …..Snakes and Ladders…..Ludo…..Football…..Monopoly……… Getting to relive your own childhood by playing them all again and remembering just how bad you are if your kid who is only three at the time can beat you.


Y – You. Knowing they look up to you. Knowing that they watch you , learn from you and understand the world because of what you teach them. Not. Scary. At. All.


Z – Zebra. Because any random word will do for Z and there ain’t many to choose from.


Got the fun blog coming up tomorrow guys, remember to leave me a comment if you want to be involved!! X


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Inventing the world that's passing by.

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